Messy Wands and Ugly Tubes: Notes on Mascara

I've just now come to terms with my sizable collection of mascaras. While I definitely don't have the biggest mascara drawer out there, I've gathered quite a few tubes of the stuff despite my self-professed eye makeup apathy. Really, brow pencil and mascara are the only eye makeup I wear on a regular basis...but I couldn't finish my makeup without them. I've come to realize that I have a "lips-lashes-skin" philosophy, a la Poppy King: if my skin looks nice, my lashes are done up, and I've got a great lipstick on, I don't need much else.

I decided I should gather these mascaras together and share my notes.

Here's my current line up, from left to right: Maybelline Full n' Soft, L'oreal Voluminous Miss Manga, L'oreal Voluminous Carbon Black, Urban Decay Perversion, CoverGirl Lash Blast Clump Crusher, Rimmel Scandaleyes Retro Glam, and Maybelline Great Lash Lots of Lashes. The CoverGirl is water-resistant and Perversion is a sample that's most likely not waterproof. Beyond that, I buy waterproof formulas in the blackest formula available with few exceptions.

For the purposes of this post, the mascaras are referred to as follows:

Maybelline Full n' Soft = Full n' Soft
L'oreal Voluminous Miss Manga = Miss Manga
L'oreal Voluminous Carbon Black = Voluminous
Urban Decay Perversion = Perversion
CoverGirl Lash Blast Clump Crusher = Clump Crusher
Rimmel Scandaleyes Retro Glam = Retro Glam
Maybelline Great Lash Lots of Lashes = MGLLL


TUBES: Is there some reason why so many mascaras have to have these ridiculously shaped tubes? Do they do something special for the formula that I'm just not catching? Because Miss Manga, Clump Crusher, and Retro Glam are all a giant pain in my ass to hold. See the big, round middles and the teeny bottoms? They're not ergonomic in the hands, and they can't stand up on their own. If the problem is that you don't want mascara rolling away (admittedly annoying), why not make the tubes square, like MGLLL? All of this aside, I like sleek simplicity with  most of my packaging, so the Urban Decay and Voluminous tubes are the most visually appealing to me. MGLLL is cute, although I'm biased because it's a classic design.

WET OR DRY?: Perversion and Miss Manga have the wettest formulas of the bunch. They take quite a while to dry, especially Perversion, which almost always leads to messiness and clumping. MGLLL is also on the wet side, but it's slightly thicker, more of a cream than a gel formula. I find that it dries faster than Miss Manga and Perversion as well. Full n' Soft is a drier, almost powdery formula, but it doesn't flake or clump, as compared to Voluminous and Retro Glam, which are so dry they actually kind of scrape my lashes. Clump Crusher represents the middle ground, having a gel-like consistency.

SHADE: The advertisements for Perversion are no lie: that is some black, black stuff! It's a shame it's so messy. Really, all of these are quite dark. If I had to pick which was the least black, though, I'd have to go with Maybelline Full n' Soft and Retro Glam, which look softer compared to the rest of this bunch.

BRUSHES: Clump Crusher and MGLLL have rubberized brushes; the rest are of the traditional fiber variety. In terms of shape, we have a small variety here. Voluminous, Full n' Soft, and Perversion all have relatively traditional brush shapes. Of those three, Full n' Soft has the longest brush hairs and Perversion is the most dense. Miss Manga and MGLLL both come to a pointed "spade" shape, but the difference in brush hair lengths is more pronounced with MGLLL. Retro Glam has a wavy shape. Clump Crusher is shaped sort of like a spoon: one side is flat and the other is curved.

BEST FOR A NATURAL LOOK: This award definitely goes to Full n' Soft. You get decent length and volume with this mascara, but no matter how many layers you pile on, it never looks spidery or dry. I've never had any problems with flaking, either, and it's easy to remove. This is my go-to work mascara.

BEST FOR A DRAMATIC LOOK: I don't often go for the super-clumpy, "I'm totally wearing mascara!" look, but if I do, I'll reach for something like Miss Manga or MGLLL. Both of these pitch-black mascaras distribute a ton of product and give me plenty of volume with some length. Clumping is there, but it's minimal.

BEST ALL-AROUND: While Clump Crusher has been temporarily usurped by these other mascaras, it will forever hold a special place in my heart. This product really does give you length and volume without the clumps. At the time of this writing, it only comes in regular and water-resistant formulas, but believe me, that's enough: my only gripe with this mascara is that it's tough to remove. I love that I can get a lengthier, more fluttery look by using mostly the flat side of the brush, or I can get thicker lashes with the round side.

LEAST FAVORITE: Retro Glam is pure trash to me; it does next to nothing for my lashes. Voluminous was a favorite of mine in graduate school, but I'm having a hard time figuring out why; it's a pain in the arse to remove, it flakes everywhere, and it dries out my lashes. Perversion is much-loved in the blogosphere, but I found that it stayed wet for so long that spidery lashes were unavoidable, even with tons of combing. It's also insanely messy.

Drugstore Reviews and Re-Views

I know that I'm pretty bad at reviewing drugstore products, and I apologize. It's not that I don't like them, and it's not that I think luxury products are inherently better. There are a number of drugstore gems I couldn't do my face without. I just don't think to review a lot of those products. Furthermore, drugstore foundations aren't exactly known for their shade ranges--finding something pale enough for me that isn't Pepto-Bismal pink takes a lot of effort.

Recently, I've been testing out two products that are new to me (L'oreal True Match foundation and Flower Beauty Color Play Creme Eyeshadows) and re-trying two products I always liked, but haven't used in ages (Revlon Super Lustrous lipstick in Black Cherry and Maybelline Full n' Soft mascara).

Here's the HD "face of the day" utilizing all 4 items:

Straight off the bat, I think we all can tell that Revlon Black Cherry is just not that flattering on me. I'm actually wearing it over MAC Beet lipliner to make it slightly more pink, but still, it just doesn't work with my skintone. It also makes my teeth look oddly yellow.

Now, let's be clear here: I recommend the Revlon Super Lustrous lipstick line often because the formulations are creamy, decently long-lasting, and relatively fragrance free. But over the years, I've come to prefer a more matte, long-wearing lipstick, so the Super Lustrous line no longer fits my needs. I give the overall formula a 5 out of 5, but I'm purging Black Cherry because it looks awful on me. I'll probably replace it with something more purple than plum, and in a long-wearing formula.

The Flower Beauty Color Play Creme Eyeshadow in Good As Marigold has been an absolute, 5 out of 5 love of mine for the past two weeks. The formula is extremely wet and creamy, sort of like a whipped mousse texture. Hence, the jar can be a bit messy. Flower staves this off by putting a little plastic lid inside the jar (to prevent the product from slopping everywhere). Actually, I think the packaging is pretty stellar overall; you can see the actual product through the bottom, the lid is air-tight, and the whole thing looks relatively sleek and pretty. A little goes a long way with this stuff. You'll definitely want to use an eye primer under this product, given how creamy it is, but I always use an eye primer anyway.

Naked face on left, one layer of L'oreal True Match in W1 on the right.

I purchased the L'oreal True Match foundation in W1 on a whim: it looked like it was pale with cool-yellow undertones. That's a tough find at the drugstore! And I'd heard good things.

I tried applying this product two ways: once with my fingers, and once with a damp Beauty Blender sponge (which is shown above). Using my fingers was a major fail. This product doesn't have a ton of slip to it, so it's hard to blend without some added moisture. The damp BB made things much easier; I'd assume this product would also work better over a layer of moisturizer. The shade W1 is darker than my neck, lighter than my face, which puts it in the N10 range.

You can get light to medium coverage with this foundation, depending on how you apply it and how much you layer, and the finish is relatively natural. It also feels pretty light-weight. But I noticed three bad things about this product:

• it can transfer, if you put enough pressure on your face,
• the SPF causes some flashback in flash photography, and
• it's full of microshimmer.

The microshimmer and flashback are both visible in this SD photo--take a look at my forehead:

I look terrifying, I know...sorry.

L'oreal True Match's shade range is what's really impressive. And I've heard it's a great "mixer" if you're trying to thin out other foundations. But I personally wasn't wowed, and I've yet to love a foundation that's got shimmer in it. I'd give this one a 3 out of 5.

Last, but most certainly not least, I've been retrying Maybelline Full n' Soft mascara. I've been trying to figure out why I stopped using this stuff. The answer? I got distracted trying a lot of other products. While CoverGirl Clump Crusher is still more dramatic and more iron-clad against rain and humidity, Full n' Soft has reclaimed its place as my favorite "natural" mascara. I can put on one thin coat for a "is she wearing mascara?" sort of look, or layer it 3-4 times for a bit more drama with next to no clumping. Gorgeous stuff, definitely a 5 out of 5.

REVIEW: L'oreal Voluminous Miss Manga Mascara

I know that every mascara can be considered a "hit or miss" product, but wow, the discordant reviews for this product! I've only seen two reactions to L'oreal Voluminous Miss Manga so far: "It's my new HG!" and "It was a wet, spidery mess." I've gotten lazy with trying new mascaras, but coupons and sales netted me a tube of (waterproof) Miss Manga in Blackest Black for $4.99, so why not try it for myself?

Let's get this out of the way: I hate the packaging for most drugstore mascaras, even CoverGirl Clump Crusher (a favorite of mine). I have no idea why the tubes have to be so thick in the middle and so tiny on the bottom; they always fall over and roll away from me. I mean, why the obsession with the round middle and the tiny bottom? Does this do something magical for the mascara? Because if not, that design needs to stop.

On to the brush. It's a tapered fiber brush that picks up a LOT of product. There's no anti-clumping ring on the inside of this mascara, so I had to scrape the brush off a lot. The wand has one of those little joints in it, designed to make it more flexible. Some people hate this, but I'm pretty ambivalent.

The formula is super wet, which resulted in quite a mess along my lash line. Beyond that, though, it was relatively easy to apply: it goes on smoothly without ripping out my lashes, and the tapered point makes it easy to get in to the corners of my eyes. You could also use the point to do your lower lashes, but I like to draw attention away from my dark circles most days, so I passed.

One layer of Miss Manga gave me plenty of length and some volume. It was also a bit clumpy, however; it's clearly one of those mascaras that volumizes by coating the lashes in tons of product and sort of...um...sticking some of them together. Hence, I don't think this is going to be a great choice for people with very sparse lashes.

Two layers added a little more volume and length, but it also made my lashes look spidery and dry. I definitely prefer the look of one coat.

Here are my lashes at the end of the day. (I was kind of lazy about cleaning up my lash line. Apologies.)  As you can see, they're still pretty full and long, and the curl hasn't come out. I didn't experience much flaking, just the usual couple of dots that I experience with just about all mascaras.

Overall, I really liked the look of Miss Manga. It's not an every day mascara by any means, but it adds drama and would be great for a night out. What I didn't care for was how messy the formula was, and the fact that I had to wipe the brush off so much. We'll see if I want to repurchase it!

RATING: 4 out of 5

25 Tops: Hourglass Riviera

True story: orange used to be my favorite color. When I was a little girl, I noticed that all of the other kids liked blue, green, red, sometimes purple...pretty much every color in the 10-shade Crayola box got some love. Except for orange. Nobody liked orange! The fact of the matter is that I felt bad for orange. So I declared it my favorite color,

Now, don't misunderstand me; I really do like orange, and the warmer shades on the color wheel in general. But by the time I'd finished college, I'd admitted to myself that I wore mostly black and was drawn to red things. Alright, okay, red and black are my true blue favorite colors. I'm a walking, talking stereotype, and I've come to terms with that.

My coloring suggests that I should give orange makeup more of my time. Too many cool-toned pinks can make fair-skinned me look like a doll, and because orange is opposite to blue on the color wheel, the contrast can make my eyes pop. However, I'm just not drawn to it the way I'm drawn to red and fuchsia. I always feel quite chic and bold when I wear it, but slapping on some orange lipstick is not my first impulse.

Enter this photo from a Rae Morris makeup book. My God, that is fierce! I have to wear orange today!

...but still, I don't wear orange often. I don't know if I ever will--it's definitely not going to fly at work, and my mother absolutely hates it. I have 3 orange lipsticks, and I rarely wear them. It shouldn't be hard tofocus on those puppies and narrow this list down.

This is the second time I've worn Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipstick in Riviera, and my sweet baby Jee, do I love this formulation! Pigmented, long-lasting, totally matte...what's not to love? It's also strangely...flattering? Riviera seems to have a great balance of red and yellow tones, so I don't look overly sallow, and my teeth look surprisingly white against my lips. This is a definite KEEP. Somebody remind me to wear this lipstick more often, and get me more of these HG liquid lipsticks, STAT!

Because I'm keeping Riviera, I've decided to PURGE my two MAC oranges: the limited edition Sounds Like Noise, a yellow-based orange with a satin finish, and Neon Orange, an amplified cream that's quite close to Riviera, but slightly more red. Sounds Like Noise is actually more difficult for me to purge than Neon Orange: while it's not as flattering, it's incredibly unique. But it's not going to get worn, so it deserves a better home.

Also examined this go-round: L'oreal Voluminous mascara in Carbon Black and the Dior DiorShow Maximizer. I used to love Voluminous, but it doesn't seem to do much for me now. It's difficult to remove, it clumps like crazy, and it flakes throughout the day. The Dior lash primer makes it bearable, however, by amping up the volume and seemingly preventing some of the flakes. I won't repurchase the L'oreal mascara, but that Maximizer? Cripes, it's hard to resist.


CURRENTLY IN THE KEEP PILE:
1. Hourglass ORLL in Muse
2. Hourglass ORLL in Riviera
3. Hourglass ORLL in Icon (mini size)
4. Chanel RAL in Dragon (DC)

CURRENTLY IN THE PURGE PILE:
1. MAC ACL in Neon Orange
2. MAC SL in Sounds Like Noise (LE)

CURRENTLY IN THE MAYBE PILE:
1. MAC ACL in Impassioned

KEEP SLOTS LEFT: 21

Also, just something funny: I hate the feeling of wet hair on my neck, so I tend to pull it up with a spin pin or a clip after I wash it. The other night, I felt pieces of hair falling out of my spin pin bun, but I was distracted by a video game, so I ignored it for about 2 hours. By the time I was ready to crawl in to bed, my head looked like this:

Beauty Sightings: Marco Marco Spring/Summer 2014 Collection

A fashion show probably seems like a strange place to go for beauty sightings, as the models' makeup is often very homogenous and there isn't a whole lot of behind-the-scenes footage. But the Marco Marco Spring/Summer 2014 collection gave us a rare treat: a runway dominated by drag queens and transgender models, all of whom appear to have done their own makeup, if this behind-the-scenes treat is to be believed. And with a wide variety of drag queens comes a wide variety of beauty product sightings!

I see some Ru Glue (ie, an Elmer's glue stick, used to flatten brow hairs) and some Tresemee hair spray. Anybody recognize the palette?

Liquid liner; the shot moves too quickly for me to see, but it looks like it COULD be MAC Boot Black.

That looks like a bottle of Chanel Vitalumiere Aqua in that kit! Somebody correct me if I'm wrong. (I'd say it's Estee Lauder Invisible Fluid, but the cap shown here looks black, not blue. Y/N?)

The NARS Loves Los Angeles palette from 2013. I think this belongs to Willam, but that could just be the editing playing tricks on me.

I do believe that's an NYC liquid eyeliner! Hilariously, I notice that most drag queens seem to use cheaper drugstore liquid liners (Almay, NYC, NYX, MAC, etc). It's probably not cost-effective to buy the super-expensive options, considering how much black liquid liner the average drag queen uses.

I'm 99% sure that this is L'oreal True Match powder based on the lid of the compact and its overall design, but wow, what a yellow-looking shade!

A gratuitous porn shot featuring some MUFE and Smith's Rosebud Salve.

Speaking of beauty, can we all take a moment to appreciate the one and only Mathu Andersen? I dream of having him do my makeup some day. He is pure perfection.

GLORIOUS.

Now for a side note: I'll be away for my sister's destination wedding for a while, plus I'll be entertaining my boyfriend for most of May. With that in mind, BOGL will be on a hiatus for the rest of May. Posts will resume in June.

See in you summer!

Beauty Sightings: RuPaul's Drag Race, Season 3

I kind of fell off the bandwagon with these Beauty Sightings, yeah? I have absolutely no idea why I've done seasons 2 and 4 of this show and not 3. Forgive me and let's move on to the beauty sightings--I could really use some brand help on this one!

But not for the drinks, which are hilariously covered up with post-it notes. Anybody else ever notice that? Coke, why don't you want a Drag Race endorsement?!

Venus D-Lite darkens her brows even when she's not in drag.

Shangela pressing on cream foundation. I've heard tell she uses Graftobian HD, but don't quote me!

There's a MAC lipstick here, but I can't see the mascara behind it super-well. There's a blush palette here, but it looks like a bunch of depots, yeah?

Loose powder. Is this Ben Nye? Kryolan? Dermablend? They're all popular drag brands.

I've been trying so hard to figure out what this palette is! Google Fu is failing me. :( Kryolan was the sponsor for this season, so my assumption is that it's one of their products.

Delta's makeup spread.

Kryolan makeup remover and a blush palette. There's also some press-on nails and false lashes.

Alexis Mateo appears to have a MAC blush palette. Also, I will forever love this season for including the definitions of busted...

...and garage doors. Flawless.

Sprays behind Manila. The gold bottle is the much-loved L'oreal Elnett spray, excellent for holding wig hairs in place.

Another shot of those blushes, plus some Ru Glue and what appears to be a MAC cream blush.

A vanity shot and Shangela holding a MAC shadow.

Another shot of that f'ing palette! They're featuring it way too much for it to NOT be Kryolan...is it maybe a version of the 18 Color Variety Palette that I haven't seen?

Manila and Stacey painting their nails with a Wet n' Wild polish.

There's a NYX jumbo pencil in the mirror, and I think the powders are a mixture of MAC and theater brands.

Ben Nye powder on the table, most likely Translucent or Neutral Set.

A shot inside some kits and bags. There's a NYX compact in the train case and a Joe Blasco product on the vanity.

I can't tell if this is setting spray or hair spray.

Gratuitous shot of Yara putting on her makeup, just because she always manages to look beautiful when she does it while the rest of us look like a bunch of morons.

REVIEW: L'oreal Colour Riche LeMatte Lip Color

Man, say that title five times fast. I'm not even going to continue on with that tongue twister; I'm just going to call the L'oreal Colour Riche Le Matte Lip Colors "the LeMattes." Kind of sounds like a socialite's last name, yeah?

I bought the bright coral-pink shade, #408 (She's So Matte). And I quickly learned that, despite the fancy name, there's nothing particularly splendid or "riche" about this product. For starters, the tip of my brand new LeMatte was smooshed to bits, even though it was still factory-sealed in the package. I was able to mold the tip back in to usable shape, but the damage meant that I had to deal with chunks of product coming off on my lips the first time I used it. I was in the college bathroom dabbing bits of LeMatte off of my chin as fast as I could, trying to prevent smears...not amused, L'oreal.

The actual application and color of the product seemed nice, however. The formula has a lot of slip; it actually feels like a silicone-heavy face primer, which was interesting. It's definitely matte and comes off true to color in one swipe. The pencil format makes it easy to apply this product, even if you're new to bright lipsticks. It doesn't feel any more drying than other matte lipsticks, although you'll probably want to prep your lips with an exfoliant and some balm beforehand.

But that slip isn't all it's cracked up to be, because the LeMattes actually slip right over any part of your lips that isn't super-duper soft. The very inner portion of most people's lips is, in my experience, slightly harder in texture and more prone to dryness. As you can clearly see in this picture, the LeMatte wouldn't apply smoothly to that inner portion of my lips. It applied in dry, patchy-looking sections, caking up in a few cracks and crevices and just barely staining the rest. Regardless of how much product I applied or how much rubbing I did with my lips or fingers, I couldn't get the color to apply evenly.

I also found that She's So Matte feathered almost instantly. Again, it's like the product has a little too much slip. Any bright lip color that smears and feathers, even with a dryer formula, is a no-go in my book.

I will say that the color is incredibly beautiful. It immediately reminded me of MAC Party Parrot, and when I swatched them up against each other, BOOM! Dupes! She's So Matte is maybe the tiniest smidge more red, but even super-fussy-about-color-nuances folks will be hard-pressed to tell the difference between these two on somebody's lips...at least when it comes to color. The extreme difference in application and texture would be a dead giveaway.

So what do the LeMattes have going for them? Not much. Someone with truly perfect lips or an intense obsession with finding a Party Parrot color dupe may be able to make better use of them than I. But at $9 each, and with little staying power and poor application, these aren't a limited edition item I'd go nuts over. It might be better to stick with the LeLacques, L'oreal's glossy pencil, if you want anything from their Fall collection.

RATING: 1 out of 5.

Kill n' Keep: Mini-Reviews on the L'oreal Lineur Intense liquid eyeliner and Tarte BB Tinted Treatment

First up in my series of mini-reviews are these two little guys: the L'oreal Lineur Intense liquid eyeliner in Carbon Black and the Tarte BB Tinted Treatment in Fair. Hilariously enough, the product I had high hopes for ended up being a total fail, and the product I was initially doubtful of ended up being quite nice.

First up, the product that didn't wow me: the L'oreal liner. I've heard great things about how pigmented and smooth this product was, and it definitely is a beautiful, rich, black color. But unfortunately, it's not even mildly water-resistant.

Being one of those incredibly pale people with uber-light eyes, I have a mild sun allergy, and bright light--especially bright daylight--tends to make my eyes tear up. The L'oreal liner completely disappeared or flaked up at the first sign of liquid, as you can see above.

The packaging is also mildly irritating. The tube is completely nondescript; the only indication of what product it is is found on the little label on the bottom. And while it's nice to find a drugstore liner with a brush tip, the tip on this liner is a bit thick and rather boxy; I've been doing winged eyeliner for years now, but it was a bit of a struggle to get a precise, pointed wing with this brush.

Of course, when I went back and touched up where it had melted off, I fell back in love a little. It's just so rich and black and affordable--only $8 for a liquid liner with a brush! But alas, I know that it will melt at the first sign of rain, sweat, or tears, and that's a no-go for me. I'll use this product every once in a while, maybe when I'm going out or when I'm just darkening up the liner along my lashline, but beyond that, it's a total bust. RATING: 2 out of 5.

The Tarte BB cream, however, ended up being an unexpected like. Not only did it look quite dark when I first squirted it out of the tube, but the texture is so silicone-y that when I first began rubbing it in to my skin, I actually yanked my hands away from my face in shock. Granted, this product is marketed primarily as a primer, something you'd use under a foundation to give it more staying power and a bit more coverage. But because this product is tinted AND marketed as a BB cream, I was fully prepared to treat it like a light-coverage foundation. To its credit, the Tarte BB blended in to my skin very smoothly, provided light coverage, softened up on my dry-combination skin after about 15 minutes, and looked like a decent color-match. But I still didn't trust it, so I set it with some translucent powder.

Folks, I had no reason to worry: this baby stayed put through a walk, blotting with tissues, and a good 5-7 hours of wear. While it looks nice in daylight, it looks especially lovely in flash photography, as seen above. My skin almost appears slightly blurred and soft-focus, though of course, topping it with a slightly mattifying setting powder helped. And I did feel the need to dust a little more powder on my nose (where I actually get oily) after about 5 hours. Regardless, it looks nice and is in a doable shade for my N5-10 skin--a rare treat. I still get squicked by the texture, and I wish it was a bit more "ooh! aah!" in daylight, but overall, I quite like this product. RATING: 4 out of 5.