Goodbye, Simmis.

I have always been a crazy cat lady. My parents hated asking me what I wanted as a gift for my birthday, Christmas, Easter, or any other holiday, because my answer was always the same: "I want a cat." Each time, my mother reminded me that my dad was allergic to cats and our dachshund may not like them--it just wasn't possible.

One summer, shortly after I had turned eleven, my mother called from work and asked if I'd be willing to watch her friend's cat Simba for a while. Her friend was going on vacation, and Simba was too young to be kenneled. A cat?! No duh, I agreed! The next day, my mother came home with a white kitten so tiny, he fit in the palm of one hand. I couldn't wait to hold him.

When I DID get my hands on him, I realized two things: first, this wasn't a he. Second, she was absolutely COVERED in fleas. We fought to de-flea this poor kitten for over a week, and of course, we ended up giving our dog the same treatment. I learned that this wasn't the start of Simba's troubles: whoever had owned her mother hadn't wanted to deal with kittens, so they'd drowned them in a bucket. This little fighter had managed to survive by getting her head over the edge of the bucket. That's when my mother's friend's daughter found her and hid her in her purse.

I never wanted this cat to feel that type of fear or pain again. I played with her regularly, helped her and the dog adjust to each other, and genuinely enjoyed feeding and cleaning up after her. I was a little sad that I'd have to give her back, but weeks went by and she never went home. After Simba had been with us for about a month, my mother came home with new cat toys. I was confused. "Mom, when is your friend coming back from vacation? She's been gone a long time! Is she on a cruise or something? And why are we buying her toys?"

My mom sighed. "Renee, you ruin everything. I wasn't supposed to tell you until your dad came home."

"Cat-sitting" was just a ruse. The friend had decided not to keep the kitten and had asked my mother to take her. My parents were worried that my father's allergies would act up, so they decided to pretend we were just watching the cat for a while so I wouldn't be upset if they gave her back.

I was so elated, I started to cry. I ran to the cat and started petting her. The whole time, this kitten--already well aware of her queenliness--was staring at me like, "Lady, what's your problem?"

We changed her name to the more feminine Simran, but nobody ever called her that. In our house, on her name tag, and on her paperwork, she was always "Simmie," though I personally spelled it "Simmis" with a silent 's' because I like palindromes.

Simmis didn't like being hugged or squeezed. She enjoyed other forms of affection, like cheek scratches, dozing against my stomach while I watched TV, or squirming on the floor as you spoke or sang to her. She would always greet us when we came home from an outing, partially because she was lonely and partially because she was a total pig who wanted fed again. She loved catnip toys, especially crinkly mice and fish, and she'd carry them around the house whilst yowling like a fierce huntress with her prey. Some cats have exceptionally loud purrs; Simmis's purr was soft and smooth, but always welcome. It would shake every bit of her eight pound body when you stroked her side or woke her up for breakfast.

One of the most amazing things about her was that she adjusted to her position as ruler of the house so quickly. Unlike most pets, she wasn't afraid of the vacuum. My dad (a very big guy) would playfully stomp near her head, and she wouldn't even flinch--she'd roll on her back and stare up at him like, "I can be silly, too!" When we switched her from a self-feeding dry food diet to a meal-based wet food diet, she made sure to interrupt whatever we were doing with loud "FEED ME!" screams. She was the cleanest cat I've ever met, grooming herself constantly and fussing if her litterbox wasn't scooped often enough. Sometimes, it seemed like her favorite past time was getting right under your feet when you were half-awake or carrying something heavy. Simmis started life as a scared kitten squirming in a bucket, but she quickly became a diva.

So when I visited my family this past summer, the changes in her behavior really stuck out. She'd run her paws over the catnip fish, but she wouldn't play with them. Her arthritis made going up and down the stairs difficult, so she didn't come up to my bedroom to sleep with me like she used to. She spent almost all of her time on the living room credenza, not even looking out the window the way she used to. She just slept. And after twenty years of her drinking water once a day and always using her litterbox, she began drinking tons of water and peeing around the house. Cats are masters at hiding pain, but we knew something was wrong. Simmis was no longer thriving; she was merely existing.

Last month, on the last night of our visit home, Simmis made her way upstairs and got in to bed with me. She couldn't sit still, likely because of her arthritis, and she had to get up and adjust her position every five minutes or so. But still, she cuddled up against me like she had for so many years. It felt like she knew her time was coming, and she was saying goodbye.

After we left, her symptoms worsened. Today, I had to make the difficult decision to put her to rest. I'm struggling in large part because I won't be there physically: we moved across the country last year, and while we moved in a to a pet-friendly apartment and absolutely expected to bring her here, her age and health issues made the trip impossible. But as several of my family members pointed out, it's probably for the best. I've already spent several weeks crying and hyperventilating, behaviors that always set my cat on edge. My parents' house is also where she's always lived and felt safest. Thanks to Lap of Love, she will spend her final moments in that home she's always known, cuddled on a fleece blanket she loves.

I know we gave each other twenty wonderful years, but the grieving process remains frightfully difficult. She is my baby, a beloved part of our family, and I'll always miss her.

At this time, I ask that you be patient with me and the ongoing hiatus. And if you have a pet of your own, please give them a scratch or a treat for me.

Goodbye, Simmis. Goodbye, Miss Kitty, Boo Kitty, Miss Fuzzybutt, Queenie, Fluffy Wuffy Princess, Mon Petit Kiki, my girlfriend. By any name, I have loved you times a thousand and will you love you forever.

FOTD: Rodin So Mod and Two Liquid Eyeliners

I've wanted to try the Rodin lipsticks for ages, partly because every color in the range speaks to me, but also because Linda Rodin strikes me as being incredibly lovely and interesting. I admit to being a sucker for the whole "cult of personality" thing when it comes to makeup--just look at how much Kevyn Aucoin I've bought, for example. $38 for something I've never even gotten to swatch, though? That's a little much, even for a lipstick lover like me. So when I noticed that somebody was getting rid of their Rodin So Mod lipstick for $10, I jumped at the chance to try it.

I'm sad to say that I'm not entirely impressed with this lipstick. For starters, the packaging--which looks great in très minimalist pictures--feels a tad cheap. It's clear plastic and very lightweight. I'm not a huge fan of the fragrance, either, which reminds me of a fruity floral perfume, though it's admittedly faint. As for the actual texture of the lipstick: it feels quite slick going on to the lips, almost like the lipstick is turning to liquid when it touches you, and it tends to slip around throughout the day. It's not awful, but I definitely prefer something that "grabs" my lips a bit more and won't move as much.

Still, So Mod is an extraordinarily pretty color. It's a very pale, 60s pink with no shimmer. Because it's so light, I like to add a bit of pencil around the edges of my mouth so that my lips don't entirely disappear.

Here's the full face of the day. You definitely want a bit more on the eyes with this one! As a side note, I've been adding a little bit of information about the extra skincare steps I'm doing to "prep" my skin; you'll have to let me know if you think that adds anything to the breakdown.

PREP: At night, I used Jordan Samuel Hydrate serum under moisturizer and ran a humidifier; in the morning, I splashed my face with cool water, patted dry, and applied some Belif True Cream Moisturizing Bomb, Paula's Choice Lip Scrub [D/C], and Aquaphor.

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BASE: MAC Face & Body foundation in C1 + White; Tarte Shape Tape Concealer in Fair; YSL Touche Eclat in #2; Clinique Moisture Surge Spray

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CHEEKS: Glossier Cloud Paints in Puff and Beam; Glossier Haloscope in Quartz

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EYES: Too Faced Shadow Insurance; Colourpop Eyeshadows in Hear Me Out and Bel-Air; Physician's Formula Eye Booster liquid liner on one eye (because it died mid-makeup, hahaha, WHY); Clinique Pretty Easy Liquid Eyelining Pen on the other eye; Marc Jacobs Velvet Noir mascara; Shu Uemura Hard Formula brow pencil in Seal Brown; Anastasia brow gel

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LIPS: Rodin lipstick in So Mod; NYX lip pencil in Nude Pink

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Lastly, here's a gratuitous picture of my fluffy girlfriend. Simmis got very sick this past weekend and had to be rushed to the vet, where I racked up a vet bill equivalent to a month's pay to discover that she had some digestive tract irritation. Still, figuring out that my precious girl doesn't have any sort of cancer, blockage, kidney ailments, or other illnesses was worth the price. I was told that she's overall so healthy, she'll likely live to be 25. She turns 19 this year.

Paper Bag Challenge (aka Fragrance Beauty Roulette)

A couple of weeks ago, I gathered up 20+ perfume samples and decants that weren't getting enough love and sent them to somebody interested in expanding their fragrance horizons. I then reorganized my many vials, totally sure that I'd made major headway in my collection...and I realized I still have upwards of 100 of the little suckers. Shamefacedly, I admit that I also had more samples headed toward me via various splitting and sampling services. But can you really blame me when there's a jasmine-rose-vanilla fragrance named after the Peacock Throne? THE FREAKING PEACOCK THRONE?!

Um. I digress.

 My issue with fragrance hoarding comes from the fact that I have so many and try so much. I put a perfume on for a few days, tuck it away in my drawer to make room for something else, and then when I try to clean out my collection, I can't remember if I really loved that particular scent. I'm bad at keeping notes about individual fragrances unless it's an insta-love/hate or I'm writing a review. So I keep it, just in case.

I decided that, since I'm really enjoying my Finish 13 by Halloween challenge, I should tack on another Project Pan/Beauty Roulette style fun fest: a Paper Bag Challenge! The goal will be to try at least three fragrances, selected at random, over the course of a week; then I can decide whether or not I want to keep them. I'll keep track of my selections and decisions using an Excel spreadsheet.

I tossed about half of my samples and splits in to a paper bag, just because I worry about leakage and I wanted to be able to pull everything out and upright relatively quickly. Then I closed my eyes, gently shuffled the vials around with my hand, and picked three at random. My first selections: L'Artisan Timbuktu, Tokyo Milk La Vie La Mort, and Etat Libre d'Orange La Fin Du Monde.

Now, because the semester has just started and none of these first three is particularly potent or daring, I was able to try one-a-day for three days straight. And...I made the decision to get rid of all three. La Fin Du Monde is cool in theory (popcorn note), but it turns really screechy on my skin. I forgot that I don't like La Vie La Mort at all--there's too much tuberose and very little complexity. And while Timbuktu is lovely, it doesn't totally rock my world. That's the trick, really: I only want to keep things I truly love and could see myself using up or buying in a larger size. With all three of those babies dealt with, I'm due to start another week already.

I don't think I'll go through every set of three quite as quickly. Again, I'm funny about the scents I wear to work, so there will be days when I use an old faithful full bottle (like Byredo Black Saffron or Imaginary Authors Memoirs of a Trespasser) instead of re-acquainting myself with a decant. But I'm hoping to go through my sample collection and cull it immensely. I've been posting weekly updates on my Instagram page, and I'll try to do a few update posts here as well.

Moderate Stash: Summer 2016 Inventory

We're having back-to-back Moderate Stash posts, thanks to the season: I worked from home this summer and therefore stared at my makeup for a good 8+ hours a day. It's also the middle of the year, which makes it a great time to review my collection and figure out where I want to be. Because several readers have expressed interest in the Beauty Roulette and Moderate Stash series, I thought this might be an interesting addition!

Also, pardon the towel. No matter how much you vacuum, you're going to want a drop cloth of sorts if you're dealing with a cute little asshole who shakes litter off of her feet and on to your dark carpet. See this specimen for reference:

What a jerk. She's lucky she's cute.

ANYWAY.

I really do recommend spreading all of your products out on a clean towel or blanket as you organize, clean, purge, whatever. It really gives you a perspective on your collection. Spreading all of this stuff out made me realize...holy crap, I don't actually have as much as I thought I did. Here I am, beating myself up, and I've reduced so much over the years!

But I'm still a hair off from my "ideal" stash size. Hence, I decided to do an inventory. :) Here is how much stuff I currently own in each category, plus my projected goals for 2017. I'm actually transcribing this from my notebook, since I generally prefer to keep my panning and purging goals on paper.

To be clear, my goal is not to become a "minimalist" or to continuously hit narrower goals as the months go by. It's to get good use out of the products I love, to think carefully about what I spend on beauty products, and to make sure I don't take up too much room when I eventually move in with my partner. Also, the pile of seemingly unorganized "junk" in the top right corner is separate because I keep that stuff handy, but I don't consider it part of the inventory. It's mostly skincare staples, like hand cream and sunscreen, that I want to be able to grab quickly.

BASE PRODUCTS

PRODUCT	CURRENT	GOAL
Concealer	2	2
Foundation	5	3
Powder	2	1
Spray/Mist	2	1

I'm fine with having two concealers, especially since I really love the ones I have right now (NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer and Maybelline Dream Lumi Pen). Five foundations is a bit much, though, so I'm hoping I can finish at least one (preferably two!) up within the next year. While I like both of my powders (Hourglass Ambient Lighting Powder in Ethereal Light and Dolce & Gabbana Powder Foundation in 50 Ivory) and sprays (Cinema Secrets Moisture Spray and Glossier Soothing Face Mist), I think one of each will more than suit my needs in the long run. Don't be fooled by that mini bottle of MAC Fix+, by the way; I just depotted some of the Cinema Secrets product in to it because it gives such a nice, fine mist.

CHEEK PRODUCTS

PRODUCT	CURRENT	GOAL
Blushes	10	8
Highlighters	5	3

This was one of the categories that stunned me--I could've sworn I had far more blushes! I really have done a good job of purging over the years. :) Still, ten cream blushes is a lot, especially since I have an entire palette full of cream blushes as well (but that was put in another category). I've also gathered a few too many highlighters and would like to get the number down to three.

EYE PRODUCTS

PRODUCT	CURRENT	GOAL
Brow Pencil	3	2
Brow Gel	2	1
Mascara	4	2
Single Eyeshadows	8	5
Liquid Eyeshadow	6	5
Liner	3	2
Primer	2	2

I don't think I'll have too many issues reducing my products in this section, but as we all know, I'm not majorly in to eye makeup. The primers section is staying as-is because...well, it's just two basic products: my regular eyeshadow primer (Too Faced Shadow Insurance) and a sticky base for glitter (LIT's glitter adhesive). I figure I'll use up my Colourpop or Milk brow pencil by the end of the year, as well as either the Milani Liquid Eyes liner or the Marc Jacobs Highliner. Several of my eyeshadow singles will most likely be purged and given to my cousin, who is waaaaay more in to them.

The mascaras are the one section where I see a potential problem. All of my current mascaras are sample sized, and I've admitted that I'm addicted to collecting and trying new mascara samples. I dislike one of my currently open tubes, however, and another tube is actually a lash primer that's half empty, so it shouldn't be too difficult to finish what I have now. The issue will be keeping that number down.

LIP PRODUCTS

PRODUCT	CURRENT	GOAL
Traditional Lipsticks	19	15
Liquid Lipsticks	8	8
Lip Pencils	10	8
Gloss	3	1

Ahhh, my weakness! Honestly, I'd be happy just to see this category stay the same, slash, keep in balance. That being said, I do think I'll be able to finish up a few lipsticks this year if I put my mind to it. I'd really like to move at least one sample lip product out of my collection, as well as make a dent in my Bite lip pencils; as a few people have recently pointed out, Bite's ingredients are all food grade, which often translates to a lower shelf life.

MISCELLANEOUS

PRODUCT	CURRENT	GOAL
Palettes	2	2
Pigments/Glitters	2	1
Brushes	18	10

The one portion that appalled me here was the brushes: for somebody who generally applies her make up with her fingers, I have a freaking lot of them. This is the one category I'd like to drastically reduce, and in fact, after I finished this inventory, I went through my stash and dropped at least three of said brushes in to my purge box. As for the other categories: I've fine with having my one eyeshadow palette (Urban Decay Book of Shadows II) and my one blush palette (Stila Field of Florals). And while I like having a single "going out" glitter, I do want to break my emotional attachment to the MAC pigment my father bought me years ago and send it off to a more loving home.

When I finished my inventory, I rearranged my products and was stunned when I realized...95% of them fit in to my organizer and my makeup tray (my version of a "weekly makeup basket," aka, products I want to use frequently). I still keep samples and back-ups in a jewelry organizer that hangs on my closet door, but except for a few brushes and a palette, all of my stuff now fits on my desk. Every day, I get closer and closer to my goals! :D

REVIEW: Korres Cheek Butters

My apologies for the oddly-colored brows. I was trying out a new pencil and it...obviously didn't go so well. Wearing Eros Coral in this picture.

It's taken me quite a while to review these pretty cream blush pots, and I think I know why. I am something of a cream blush fanatic: if a brand announces it's coming out with a range of ooey gooey cheek products, I go a little berserk and insist on trying them, especially if they're at a great price. These Korres Cheek Butters were only $12 each on Sephora during the 2014 "we need to clear out our holiday shit" sale they always have at the end of the year, so I jumped.

And then I got sick.

And then I got distracted by all kinds of other cream blushes. Cue Christina Perri's "Only Human."

But even when I started to use these, I felt a little out of my depth. It's not because these are OMFG SO UNIQUE, it's just...I simultaneously enjoy them and feel apathetic towards them. Weird, right? Let me explain.

Eros Coral on the left, Philia Rose on the right.

I purchased two shades: Eros Coral and Philia Rose. I was actually most interested in the red shade, Chara Crimson, but it was no longer available on Sephora. In fact, none of these cream blushes are available on Sephora now; if you want them, you'll have to buy them from HSN at $25 for 6 grams.

What suckered me in was...well, affordable cream blushes, let's be honest. But I also think the packaging is really beautiful. Yes, it's plastic, but it's very sturdy plastic, and the designs on the lids? Freaking gorgeous. The colors also look quite pretty in the pots: Eros Coral is, as the name suggests, a true coral, and Philia Rose looks like a soft, neutral pink.

Interestingly, these shades take on a bit more of a "brown" tone when they're actually applied to my cheeks, particularly Philia Rose. This is not inherently a bad thing, but I tend to prefer "clear" blushes without a hint of brown because my skin is so pale. As it stands, these look nice on my cheeks, but not incredible.

The formula is also not what I expected. These are called "Cheek Butters," so I expected them to be more emollient and tacky like Korres's famous Lip Butters. The formula is actually on the dry side, and you'll have to run your finger over the product several times to warm it up. Hence, this is a cream blush formula that is best applied with your fingers so your body heat can smooth it out.

The dryness of the formula is simultaneously a pro and a con. On the pro side, it dries down on the cheeks and doesn't feel sticky. It's also decently long-wearing; both shades clocked in at 6+ hours of wear on me, depending on what I was doing and what the weather was like. This makes them a feasible cream blush option for people with oilier skin. On the con side, this is not the most flattering formula on my dry cheeks. It can also look a little patchy if you aren't quick with your application, since the product dries down so quickly. I use a "pat, spread, pat" sort of motion and work in sections.

Although this is not the best cream blush formula for my skin type/shade, and although they're not an astounding buy for the price, I would recommend these cream blushes to people who like a less emollient texture and more subdued shades, provided you can find them on sale. Heck, I'd even purchase that Chara Crimson shade if I could find it at a (very) reasonable price. But if you want something that's revolutionary, or great for dry or pale skin? Take a pass on these guys.

RATING: 3 out of 5

Bonus picture of Sim-Sim...and for once, she's not sleeping!

REVIEW: PK (Paul Kiler) Perfumes

If I'm going to do fragrance reviews--a very shaky, scary territory for somebody like me--then I'm going to start off with a bang. These reviews cover most of the discovery set from PK Perfumes, fragrances designed by nose Paul Kiler. When the folks at Makeup Alley began posting slews of Cyber Monday coupon codes for fragrance websites, I dove straight for Kiler's work because of his sterling reputation, his involvement in the community (you'll see him posting on YouTube and Basenotes from time to time), and the lack of reviews for his fragrances.

Yes, yes, I admit that I bought something, in part, because not a lot of people have written about it. But, um...I didn't actually buy it. More on that in the overview section. This is going to be quite a long review with lots of pictures, so I'm going to put my overview, my impressions of the individual fragrances, and my final say under a cut.

Seriously. Grab a cup of coffee and a snack. You've been warned.

NOTE: The header images for the like, dislike, and crown jewels sections come directly from Kiler's website; all credit goes where it's due. Other images are mine OR are credited to other artists. Some of these reviews are available, slightly altered, on Fragrantica. 

REVIEW: Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipsticks

I cannot believe that I've ranted, raved, and gushed about these liquid lipsticks for nearly a year, but have never written a formal review. Maybe it's because I'm afraid that a formal review will turn people off: the current trend is for weightless, shiny lipsticks, and these babies are anything but. Still, one of my goals is to become the semi-official Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipstick spokesperson. That requires some writing.

The Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipsticks are just what they say on the tin: "indestructible matte" liquid lipsticks with opaque pigmentation and an incredibly long wear time. A full-size tube will run you $28 for 0.10 ounces, which isn't bad for a high-end lipstick. There are several "mini tubes" available at $10 for 0.03 ounces, which is a good way to try the colors without making a major financial commitment. In case it isn't clear in the header image, I have two full-size tubes and two mini-tubes.

The packaging is a mixed bag for me. They come in these long, kinda flat tubes that are clear on the front and metallic on the back and lid. This means they can't stand up on a desk or a vanity, and they get covered in fingerprints, making them kind of unsightly in photographs. However, you can see the exact color of the product and how much you have left, and that's always a bonus. Color names and batch codes are on the back.

EXPAND FOR LARGER IMAGES -- from left to right: Riviera, Muse, Canvas, Icon

The liquid formulation feels slightly thick and very creamy. You apply the product with a doe-foot applicator, which I find relatively easy to control. It's easy to overdo it, so I always wipe the applicator off on the rim of the tube before I apply. Trust me: it's better to have too little than too much!

The lipstick will start to dry almost immediately, and will completely set in about 2-3 minutes, so be sure to fix any mistakes quickly. This product has to be removed with an oil-based remover, so just faffing around with a q-tip isn't going to help you. Also, try not to rub your lips together until the product has sat for a few minutes; this can cause lines and creases.

 I own 4 shades: Riviera, a bold orange, Muse, a bright coral, Canvas, a soft mid-tone pink, and Icon, a blue-based red. The pictures above demonstrate how pigmented and opaque the shades are. I will note that the more neutral/pale shades like Canvas can apply slightly streaky if you aren't careful; again, it's helpful to only use a little bit of product at a time.

Hourglass claims that these lipsticks will last for 14 hours. I think that's a little obscene for the average user, so I try to test products listed as "long-wearing" over a 6-8 hour period. After 3 hours and a light, dry meal, I noticed zero fading or flaking. After 8 hours, many glasses of water, and a big bowl of soup, I noticed some minor fading on the inner parts of my lips, but the majority of the color was still in place. Yes, these are definitely long-wearing! The only thing that might cause a problem is very oily food--the soup I ate was loaded with it, which I believe caused some of the patchiness in the 8-hour photo--but that's to be expected.

Hourglass also claims that these lipsticks are full of emollients, aka moisturizing ingredients. I'm sure this product contains them, because they're in the ingredients list, but be assured that it is not a weightless or moisturizing product. I can definitely feel this product on my mouth. I like that, because I think of lipstick as a kind of "armor" on my face, but if you're only in to super-lightweight balmy textures, this isn't the product for you.

And as the 8-hour image shows, these lipsticks will dry your lips a little and exaggerate fine lines after a long period of wear. The best way to combat this is to exfoliate and moisturize your lips before you apply the product; it helps the lipstick apply and stay better throughout the day. I personally don't find the dry-ness to be anything too terrible--it's easily fixed by a coat of balm after I've cleansed my face--but people with especially sensitive lips will have to give these a pass.

The Hourglass Opaque Rouge Liquid Lipstick line has become one of my all-time favorites, and it's not hard to see why: the color range is great, the price is right, the formula is easy to use and incredibly long-wearing, and I don't have to worry about smearing or touch-ups. If you're okay with a lipstick that's tangible when you wear it, then definitely give the line a try!

RATING: 5 out of 5.

And now, some quick bonus images!

One of my recent obsessions has been Pittsburgh Popcorn, a local company that specializes in--you guessed it--gourmet, homemade popcorn. The chocolate caramel is a regular flavor and a definite favorite of mine, but their cheddar corn and most of their weekly flavors are also phenomenal. You can order online, so consider checking them out!

Here's a bonus picture of my beautiful kitty!

A New Hair Style and Some Recent Loves

I have really, really insane hair. It's of a decent thickness, but the individual strands are baby-fine and corkscrew curly. It always feels nice to the touch, but wow, is it a pain to work with. So I've depended on adding layers when I can afford it, and sticking to ponytails and topknots when a $35 haircut is not a financially sound option. You can put some "fresh twists" on those two styles--wrapping ribbons or more elastic bands down the length of a ponytail, for example--but even that gets old.

I go back to those styles, though, because they're kind of necessary when you wake up with hair like this:

Ahhhhhh, I'm not walking out of the house like that unless I'm starring in a 1980s hairspray commercial. Sorry.

Then I noticed this cute look in a couple of magazines. It combines two of my bad hair day go-tos: topknots and scarves. You just put your hair in a high ponytail, tie a scarf around the base, and braid the two ends of the scarf and your hair together. Then you wrap it all in a circle and secure it with some bobby pins. Surprisingly cute and fresh. I think I'll wear this scarfknot a lot this fall, though not for work, as the final look is kinda quirky and casual.

In other news, I've fallen back in love with the Queen Helene Mint Julep Masque. It's nothing fancy, but it definitely softens up my skin and squeezes any excess oil out of my pores. I can also get a little exfoliation out of the mask when I gently remove it with warm water and a soft towel. Huzzah! I just wish it didn't contain pigments and perfume to create that fake mintiness.

Also, I recently realized that I haven't talked about food recently. So here's a shot of one of my current favorite snacks: homemade trail mix!

Yeah, it's the same old, super-basic trail mix recipe: raw almonds and walnuts with M&Ms candies and raisins. But it's a classic for a reason! If you want to get fancy, you can add more goodies like dried fruit or ginger, mini-marshmallows, cashews...whatever floats your boat. I suggest keeping the almonds and walnuts no matter what because they're great for your skin.

And my other favorite snack of the moment...

...is thin crust ham and pineapple pizza with a glass of wine. It's like I'm back in graduate school!

As for brunch, my old standby...um, stands. It's some of the best skin food out there: Fage 0% Greek yogurt provides protein and live cultures, blueberries are full of antioxidants, and strawberries are a major source of vitamin C. It's also a very filling, low calorie meal that doesn't kick up my IBS. (I can't say the same for the pizza and wine, unfortunately.)

Oh, and a quick favorite from Simmis: catnip mats! You can purchase these from local craft and pet stores, or at your next festival. It's just a cute little mat full of catnip. Simmis loves to play with her mat, then doze on it for a quick cat-nap.

A last note for the day: I got my phone working again, so I'm back on Instagram! Fair warning, I'm kind of addicted.

REVIEW(S): Forever 21 "Love & Beauty" Makeup

Forever 21 isn't exactly a store you'd equate with great makeup. Instead, it's the most popular purveyor of cheap, uber-hipster clothing in my neck of the woods, a store full of see-through crop tops and spandex shorts for $20 or less. That's not to say it's BAD--some people can really rock those shorts--but the vibe doesn't lend itself to makeup.

But Forever 21 does, in fact, sell a wide range of makeup and beauty products, all of which seem to be from a brand called "Love & Beauty." I'd heard that some of these products were incredible for the price point, namely the eyeshadows and lipsticks, so I decided to take a $20 and check it out.

For the record: all of these products were $3.80 when I purchased them with the exception of the cream blush, which cost $0.99.

The Liquid Eye Liner

My my my. If you want to talk about something that's the stuff of my nightmares, the Love & Beauty liquid eyeliner would probably be the top candidate.

First, the good: the brush tip applicator is actually quite well-made and easy to control. I didn't have to deal with any splayed hairs. Also, I didn't pick up any odor.

...annnnnd the good stops there. This was one of the most watery, messy liquid eyeliner formulas I've ever dealt with. While it was easy to draw a straight line with the brush tip, said straight line was a mixture of "blah gray" and "oh there's no makeup here!" It also took its sweet time drying, which left me with a few smears to clean up. I realize that the header image for this post is a little misleading, seeing as the eyeliner shown in said image is quite solid and black. That's because I refused to let that hideous Love & Beauty crap shine through in a FOTD-type picture, so I went over both eyes with the Wet n' Wild Mega Liner.

The difference is night and day. Fun fact: the Wet n' Wild liquid liner is roughly the same price as Love & Beauty's similar offering, and it works ten times better. So just go for that bad boy.

The Cream Blush

I didn't have very high expectations for this cream blush, mostly because my experiences with bargain basement cream blushes have led me to believe that they are Just Plain Crap (tm). With the noticeable exceptions of the NYC Blushable Cream Sticks (which are better than most HE cream blush sticks and were discontinued shortly after they were brought out, WTF) and the NYX cream blushes (great drugstore option for those who like an emollient formula!), all of the drugstore cream blushes I've tried have had a waxy texture, stupid amounts of chunky glitter, and/or zero pigmentation.

The Love &  Beauty cream blush does contain some pointless sparkle, but the actual product itself isn't all that bad.

Here's two layers of the cream blush over a sheer foundation. As you can see, there are some sparkles that don't really do anything (the slight glow you're seeing is just the natural glow I get in the summer, AKA sweat), but they're not particularly chunky or obnoxious. The pigmentation is decent. And the formulation is quite comfortable: it reminds me of the Lipstick Queen Oxymoron Matte Glosses insofar as it's dry in the pan, but quickly warms under the heat of your fingers and is easy to blend. This blush lasted for about 5-6 hours with minimal fading.

I'm not overly impressed with the shade; to me, it's just a standard pink that neither brightens nor muddies my complexion. But because it's cheap, has good staying power, and is easy to apply, I'll probably throw it in my makeup bag. It'll work in a pinch, and it's not a financial blow if it gets lost.

Lipsticks

You'd think I'd have the best handle on this part of the review, seeing as I'm a lipstick fanatic who reviews pout paints regularly. But I'm not quite sure how I feel about these lipsticks, to be honest. On the one hand, they perform impressively, especially for a bargain lipstick; on the other hand, they have some characteristics that drive me batshit insane.

The most obvious problem? The packaging.

Notice our special guest?

This is what happened to Matte Fuchsia's cheap plastic packaging the first time I tried to open the tube. No, really: all I did was take the cap off, and it fell to pieces. I've experienced some truly faulty packaging, but this go-boom incident really blew my mind. How would this thing survive in a purse or makeup bag? (Hint: it probably wouldn't.)

The explosion only happened with Matte Fuchsia, but the packaging for all 3 lipsticks I purchased was flimsy, and none of the lids felt particularly tight.

Matte Fuchsia: blotted vs. applied thickly

Still, I gave each lipstick the good college try, and I was simultaneously impressed and annoyed. Straight off the bat, the matte lipstick formulation has a somewhat silicone-y feel, so it sits comfortably on your lips (I didn't experience any dryness or tightness), but it's just about impossible to get a strong lipline. Even when I applied with a lip brush, I felt like the matte lipsticks always had a "blurred" look around the edges. This isn't a deal-breaker for some people, and I actually liked the softness when I wore the shades blotted. But when I tried to do a full-on layer of lipstick, the smeariness irritated me.

The creme formulation is, of course, more glossy. It's also a little less pigmented, though I still got decent color payoff. Both formulations lasted for about 5 hours before needing touch-ups, and the matte lipsticks stuck it out with next to no fading through eating and drinking. However, those matte formulations also stain a bit, especially the fuchsia shade.

From left to right: Matte Fuchsia, Creme Coral Pink, Matte Red

Which leads me to my next problem: the shades. Do I just have a weird personal color scheme, or is that Matte Fuchsia lipstick more berry than fuchsia?! Fuchsia, to me, is a cool, hot pink with hints of purple; this shade was far more purple and dark than I would expect. The Matte Red is okay, but pretty uninspiring. Coral Pink Creme is the most aptly named and attractive in terms of color, but the matte formulation is more impressive to me.

I don't think I'll buy more of these unless they come out with a super-unique shade, and I'll be getting rid of the red for sure (my other reds are far more impressive). But...I'm not so sure about the other two. Coral Pink is different, shade-wise, from anything else in my collection at the moment, and Fuchsia looks rather nice blotted down. I'll have to think about those two.

Final Verdict?

There were hits and misses here, which is the case with any brand. Over the years, I've learned what I like and what works for me, and most of these products don't fit the bill as perfectly as other products in my collection. But you know what? With the exception of the Eyeliner From Hell, they're not that bad. Actually, they're quite nice and affordable. I could easily see buying a lipstick or an eyeshadow palette from this brand for a younger child who's just getting in to makeup, or if you want cheaper options for your travel makeup bag. And if you're on a tight budget? Eh, it's worth a try.

LIQUID EYELINER: 1 out of 5 (props for the brush)

CREAM BLUSH: 4 out of 5

LIPSTICKS: 4 out of 5

How BOGL Rocks Stay-at-Home Sick Days

It's been a tough month for Bad Outfit, Great Lipstick. My computer broke, and I won't be able to get a new one for several months. It's summer in Pennsylvania and the weather is stupidly sticky and wet. And to top it all off, I've somehow contracted strep throat in the middle of June. The universe is displeased with me, no doubt.

I've wallowed in my bed for long enough. It's time to make the best of my sick days and, hopefully, speed up my recovery. Beyond the required rest, fluids, and doctor's visits, here's how I handle a day stuck at home.

But before I get in to the details, an important note: most of my illnesses are of the strep throat, sinus infection, head cold variety. It is very rare for me to deal with any kind of influenza or stomach bug that leads to vomiting, dizziness, extended fever, etc. If you have any of those very serious illnesses, please seek medical attention immediately.

Green is Good for You

Unless you're munching away on a crisp salad, "green" isn't the color you connect to appetizing food. In fact, most people don't connect it to an appetizing anything: it's the bane of red carpets and photoshoots because it doesn't photograph well, ugly carpets and couches are often described as being "puke green" or "puce," and we all know how they feel about the color on RuPaul's Drag Race ("I told her not to wear green! I hate it!").

Hilariously, I've found that green things are my dietary staples when my throat is swollen and my appetite has been suppressed. Unable to swallow my favorite delicious (but rough and fibrous) raw vegetables, I turn to Bolthouse Farms' Green Goodness juice. This stuff looks gross, but it's actually quite sweet--I pick up a lot of apple and pear flavors--and 8 ounces contains a day's worth of most of my vital nutrients. Beauty bonus: hefty doses of vitamin C keep my skin glowing, even when I'm feeling under the weather. I also skip my usual cup of coffee (can you hear my sighs of longing?) and instead drink copious amounts of green tea with honey. Honey is full of antioxidants and coats the throat to reduce scratchiness, coughing, and pain.

As for food: there's soup. Now, I know that chicken noodle soup is good for the soul, and it's an all-American comfort food. That's well and good. But when I'm sick, I prefer a cup of homemade split pea soup. It's still thin enough to swallow without hurting my sore throat, but substantial enough to fill me up and provide some necessary nutrition when my appetite is lacking.

Creature Comforts

Yes, I wear stupidly comfy sweaters that are four sizes too big for me. Yes, I look like a moron. No, I do not care. I am snuggly and warm and you cannot take this from me!

Another fantastic product for keeping warm and relaxed? Corn bags! These are just what they sound like: fabric bags full of dry corn kernels. (You can usually find these bags at festivals and fairs, but if that fails, just check on Etsy!) You put the bag on a plate, heat it up in the microwave for 2 minutes, then crawl in to bed and put the bag wherever you need it. Currently, I set it on my creaking joints and sore neck to relieve body aches, but I also used this bag for additional night-time warmth when I had to deal with North Dakotan winters. As an added bonus, they kinda smell like popcorn! (Electric heating pads are probably a more popular option, I admit, and I do have a very nice one that my boyfriend got for me. But I avoid using an electric pad when I'm sick because of the fatigue: nobody wants to fall asleep and leave an appliance running under the covers.)

Illness is also a great excuse to eat stupid amounts of frozen deliciousness. They're easy to swallow, taste super-delicious (so you'll probably eat some even if your appetite is reduced), and the cool feeling is soooo soothing on a rough, irritated throat. If I have strep or a coughing kind of cold, I'll go for ice cream or gelato. If I'm sick with something that's producing a lot of thick mucus, I'll avoid dairy (which can thicken or increase the production of phlegm) and go for a fruit sorbet or popsicle instead.

As a final note, I've recently made the switch to Aveeno Skin Relief body wash, and I couldn't be happier. Not only is it gentle and moisturizing, it's also fragrance-free, which means my sick day headaches are never aggravated by unnecessary perfumes. The plush lather and silky feel of this body wash always make me feel better, almost like I'm "washing away" the germs. It certainly makes me feel like less of a scrub after I've spent a week in my pajamas...

Let Me Entertain You!

There have been plenty of illnesses that left me bedridden for days at a time. My most recent sinus infection, for instance, hit me so hard that I spent an entire day drifting in and out of sleep while a Disney movie marathon ran on my computer.

But that's not always the case. And while I make sure to get plenty of rest when I'm sick, there's only so much time you can spend sleeping. If I'm out of work to do and I'm too contagious for close human contact (and I definitely am right now), I'll just entertain myself. Movies are usually my "I need to get ready for another nap" fodder, so when I want to do something without, um, really doing something, I go for a book or a video game. D&D, anybody?

And last, but most certainly not least, I always thank my furbaby for standing guard over me (and my games!) when I'm ill. ;)

Introducing TEH PUPPEH!

There's no denying that the undisputed, unrivaled queen of our household is TEH KITTEH, best known as Simmis, also known as Her Royal Fluffy Majesty Empress Simran of the Upstairs, Queenie, Miss Kitteh Oh Miss Kitteh, Little Boo, and Ms. Fuzzybum. She is the ruler of my heart; I adore her, and no one and no thing can ever replace her.

But my sister got a German Shepherd puppy recently, and...she's kind of cute. She also comes to visit every once in a while. So I figured you guys wouldn't be opposed to the occasional dog photo. Shown here at 6 weeks and 4 months of age, respectively, she is...Kona, TEH PUPPEH.

REVIEW: Urban Decay Revolution Lipsticks

Here we go again: another review of an already stupidly popular product with a cult following. Why do I bother? Because I am a bonafide lipstick goddess, thankyouverymuch, so my opinion matters!

...but yeah, I totally understand that most of you probably already own some of these. It's cool.

Urban Decay's Revolution lipsticks are a revamp of their old, not-in-a-pencil lipstick formula, and a much needed one at that. While the original formulation was decent, it was incredibly slick--meaning bright colors slipped off of your mouth and feathered in less than an hour--and contained in the most horrendous, overwrought packaging I've ever seen. Urban Decay heard the endless complaints about how their packaging was beautiful, but not at all functional, and they took it to heart; their new products, including these lipsticks, are encased in sleek, easy-to-use containers that still look edgy and young.

I purchased my lipsticks for $22 each at Sephora. I decided to start with one bright, a blue-based red called F-Bomb, and one nude, a soft pink called Native. (And I've already shown them in my Dolce & Gabbana powder foundation review. SO SUE ME.)

The formula is best described as a rich cream with a "soft" finish: not matte, but not overly shiny, either. It just looks plump and slightly moist. I could sort of "feel" these on my lips, which doesn't bother me in the slightest, but those of you who prefer balm-like, completely weightless formulations may want to test the Revolution lipsticks before purchasing. They have no discernible scent.

The wear is relatively impressive: both shades stayed on my lips for about 5 hours before they needed touched up. They did not feather, slide, or get patchy. The formula does dry my lips out a little, which is a bit odd given how creamy they feel when you're wearing them, but it's nothing a little post-shower lipbalm can't fix. I do think that, given the thickness and opacity of these lipsticks, you'll want to exfoliate your lips before you apply them so you have the smoothest canvas possible, as they can emphasize flakes and cracks.

The one major issue I had with these lipsticks is the bullet shape, which made it difficult to apply the bright red F-Bomb without a lip brush. That in and of itself is not a sin, but because this is a very rich, smooth formula, I found it difficult to get the super-sharp lip line I prefer--you can see how the edges of my lips look a bit "smeary" in the F-Bomb swatch above. To be fair, I usually wear lipliners with my bright lipsticks, so I'm not opposed to getting those sharp lines with lipliners instead of a lip brush.

I liked the formula enough to try out some more shades. Unfortunately, the one I really wanted, Catfight, was sold out everywhere, so I just went with Naked. This shade is a very flattering sort of neutral pink that would work on a variety of skintones. (I didn't exfoliate my lips before applying Naked, though, so you can see how it emphasizes the minor flakes I have.)

The one odd thing about Naked is that it doesn't seem to have quite the same staying power. I wore it to my sister's graduation and had to reapply twice within a 5 hour period. Hum...maybe the pigment just isn't as intense, so there isn't a staining effect?

Of the three shades I've tried, F-Bomb is my least favorite. It's not BAD, it's just not all that unique or special. It's slightly cool/blue-based, but not as purple-y as Hourglass Icon or Shiseido Nocturne. NARS Cruella looks almost burgundy next to it. Elizabeth Arden Poppy looks warm in this batch of swatches, but that's just because they're mostly blue-based; it's probably the most neutral, balanced red lipstick I've found. Chanel Dragon is probably the closest in terms of color, but is quite different with regards to formulation.

Native is actually my favorite of the bunch: it's one of the very few "nude" shades I've found that doesn't wash me out, and it works beautifully with dark eye looks. The shade is lighter and less pink than MAC Please Me, and is also cooler than Lipstick Queen Pink Sinner. It has replaced Lancome Sweet Embrace, which is similar in color, but ever-so-slightly lighter and a bit more beige. (I have to wear a gloss on top of Sweet Embrace to make it work for me.)

Naked is, as the name suggests, more peachy-beige than the aforementioned pinks.

So I would I recommend these lipsticks? To most people, yes. I don't think I'll go out of my way to get all of the bright shades, as I tend to prefer a more matte formulation for my brights. But the nudes are incredibly beautiful and seem to work well on my skintone, something I normally don't get to say. And despite the slight drying effect, the formula is generally comfortable to wear and provides plenty of color.

RATING: 4 out of 5.

Oh, and here's some bonus kitty-in-a-window!

 

2 FOTDs

Let's just get this first Face of the Day out of the way, because I honestly can't remember everything I was wearing that day.

What I DO remember wearing here are the Kevyn Aucoin primer and Liquid Airbrush foundation, the Elizabeth Arden Smoky Eyes eyeliner, Makeup Forever Uplight #11, and Chanel Abstraction. You see, I was trying to see if I could purge any of these things. I've decided to keep most of them, although I won't be repurchasing Abstraction: it's pretty, but not striking or unique enough for me to reach for it on the regular. What I AM purging is the Liquid Airbrush foundation. Yes, it photographs beautifully, but it can be fussy on my skin, and it's a bit peachy for my tastes. I also don't reach for it that often because I'm generally a sheer coverage kinda gal.

Also, these photos make it clear that the Skindinavia Bridal spray is slightly different from the original: the Bridal is a bit shinier/glowier. I need to stop after one or two squirts of the Bridal, whereas I can really pile on the original and I look less powdery, but not exactly dewy. That's not a BAD thing, but I think I'll stick with the original in the future. It's rare that I want to look super-duper-glowy all over.

This second FOTD is what I wore to work this afternoon, so it's much easier to remember and break down. :)

BASE: MAC Face & Body foundation in N1 + White, MAC Pressed Blot Powder, Kevyn Aucoin Sensual Skin Enhancer in Sx02, Skindinavia setting spray

EYES: Wet n' Wild Fergie primer, Shu Uemura Hard Formula brow pencil in Seal Brown, Benefit They're Real! mascara, Benefit Creaseless Cream shadow in RSVP, Clinique Bottom Lash mascara in Black Brown

CHEEKS: Kevyn Aucoin Creamy Moist Glow in Tansoleil

LIPS: NYX lip liner in Auburn, Chanel Rouge Allure Laque in Dragon [D/C]

And last, but not least, here's my furbaby playing with her new kitty kicker! :D