Anti-Haul (aka "What I'm Not Going to Buy"), Eighth Edition

How am I up to eight anti-hauls already? I know I like to complain a lot, but man, I can't remember the last time I stuck with a series this long. Maybe it's because this is my birthday month. I'm spending a lot of time telling myself I don't need things instead of justifying it with a shriek of "BUT I'M TURNING 30." Whatever the reason, here's some stuff I'm not buying and why I think you probably shouldn't buy it, either.

1. Frank Body Original Coffee Scrub, $16.95 -- This body scrub was in every skincare instagrammer's millennial pink photo shoots for quite a while before it faded in to temporary obscurity. Now it's making a comeback, and I have to ask: why? The ingredients list is relatively short and is comprised mostly of products you can mix together yourself: sweet almond oil, brown sugar, coffee, vitamin E, salt, and water, plus a couple of other ingredients for fragrance that you can probably just skip. Now, that doesn't immediately turn me off of a product, because a lot of companies do simple better than we can at home, but this is a coffee-based scrub. It's going to make your shower a damn mess. I'm sticking with my St. Ives Apricot Scrub; just be gentle and keep it below the shoulders and you'll be fine.

2. Benefit mini brow products, including Ka-Brow, $12 -- I'm obsessed with minis. They're cute, they're travel-friendly, it's easy to finish them before they go bad, and they can help you discover new favorites at a lower cost. But I can never get the Benefit minis because they always, always, always come in just one shade: their warm medium brown. And when they same warm, my friends, they mean WARM; most of their #3 shades turn bright red on me. Come on, Benefit! Us ashy browed folks want to try your stuff, too!

3. Tom Ford Lip Color, $54 -- I love lipstick, but I start to get a little hairy about spending my money on it when we pass the $25-a-tube mark. It needs to be a damned special formula or shade for me to cough up more, and Tom Ford just doesn't qualify. I've tried several of the shades in the range and am currently trying to finish up a deluxe sample of tube of Indian Pink, and it's...okay. The formula is smooth and creamy, but I get slightly better performance and even better staying power from a MAC Amplified lipstick. And while I understand the argument that luxury products often have unique or especially flattering colors that make the price worth it, I have yet to find a shade like that in the Tom Ford range. There's also the fact that people regularly complain about Tom Ford lipsticks going rancid in record time. If I want to spend my money on a beautifully formulated lipstick with exceptionally beautiful shades, I'll go for Pat McGrath's range...and I'd still be spending less.

4. Urban Decay Backtalk Palette, $46 -- I know it's a bit weird for me to put this here. It's half eyeshadows and all powders, which are not my thing. But I had a moment of weakness in which I almost wanted this palette. Then I talked myself out of it because, hey, not my thing, and decided to talk you out of it because hey, the reviews for this suck. Generally speaking, most people are saying the blushes are beautiful, but the eyeshadows are chalky and/or lacking in pigment. You can detach the middle portion of this palette, too, and I don't get why. It's not in the way, right? Are you taking it somewhere separately without a cover on it? I dunno, it just seems like a great way to ding your products with the corner of the cardboard cover. If you still really want this palette, just wait until it goes for its inevitable sale price.

5. West Barn Co. Soapbrows Kit, $14 -- Capitalizing on trends is Marketing 101, so in theory, this doesn't bother me. But I have to ask: why the Hell would you buy it? You're just getting a basic glycerin soap in a cute tin. It's not even a very large soap: this guy is just 30 grams, while the big bar of Van Der Hagen glycerin soap I tested in my second copying makeup artists video was all of $3 for over 100 grams of product. If you want to keep your soap in a travel-friendly case, you can definitely just cut off a slice of your favorite with a hot knife and put it in to the tin of your choosing.

6. RMS Beauty products in general -- The RMS Living Luminizer is semi-famous in my mind for being the one product I regretted purging, though I eventually got over it and found other highlighters I like more. And I've been attracted to a lot of the ooey-gooey, coconut oil laden items in their range; I have dry skin and I like a natural finish, after all. But this company has officially gone off the deep end, and at least for now, I won't be buying more products. Seriously, if you tell somebody that they can't blend your products properly because "they wear foundation and it's full of chemicals," I'm going to side-eye the fuck out of you. (They deleted this comment, by the way, but you can still read my salty response.)

Anti-Haul (aka "What I'm Not Going to Buy"), Seventh Edition

The holidays are coming, which amounts to plenty of pointless collections and collaborations to fuel a final 2017 Anti-Haul. Unlike many of my other anti-hauls that focus on products I've talked myself out of, this post will feature a number of products that I have zero desire to buy. But frankly, I don't think you should buy them, either. Hence, anti-haul!

As always, these posts are not meant to make you feel bad for liking a product or spending your money; I'm just trying to think carefully about my own consumerism and maybe encourage you to think carefully about yours. Once again, mad props to Kimberly Clark for popularizing and promoting the Anti-Haul movement!

1. Any of these shitty "I'm Really Only Meant for Cool Instagram Photo" masks, especially the GlamGlow collab with the Power Rangers franchise ($29) and this Too Faced "Glow Job" nonsense -- Look, I totally love to browse #masking, but the current trend of creating products that are really only meant to look cool in selfies is starting to bug me. It'd be fine if unicorn frappes had tasted good, but they were actually vile sugar bombs; the same goes for masks like this, which do nada for your skin. No mask is going to truly firm your skin. The ingredients list for this GlamGlow product make me think it'll provide some softening and plumping that will temporarily give the illusion of firming, but it won't last more than a day or two. And again, we all know that the real draw for products like this is that they look cool in pictures. The same goes for glitter masks, like Too Faced's proposed "Glow Job" mask. Obviously, the name is just obnoxious, but I find the idea of rubbing what looks like glitter hair gel all over my skin even more repulsive. Speaking of repulsive: the only good part of the new Power Rangers movie was this delightful Rita Repulsa x Krispy Kreme moment:

Beyond that, let these masks die alongside the franchise, please.

2. NARS x Man Ray Love Triangle Blush/Lipstick Sets, $24 each -- I actually think some of these sets look really beautiful, and $24 is a nice value for a blush and lipstick with great formulas. In fact, when I found out these were being released, I totally planned to break my lipstick no buy and snag one during the upcoming Sephora VIB sale. But then they released the packaging, and I'm just...so deflated. I know that Man Ray's photography had a minimalist quality to it that they're trying to mimic here, and it's not awful, but compare these sets to some of the packaging from the rest of the range. and you'll see why I'm disappointed.

(This photo is from Chic Profile.)

Check out those palettes! And how gorgeous is that round lipstick coffret? If you wanna give me Man Ray, give me Man Ray!

3. CoverFX Custom Enhancer Drops Vault, $235 -- If you like shimmery, almost metallic, high-impact highlighters that will beam like the sun in July, it's hard to top the CoverFX Custom Enhancer Drops. That description alone might make a set like this tempting, but stop and look at how much product you're getting. Each bottle contains half an ounce of highlighter, and there are 7 bottles in the set. That amounts to 3.5 ounces of liquid highlighter. Speaking as somebody who is still working through a one ounce bottle of Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector that is decidedly vintage at this point, I can say that you will never, ever finish these. They have a dropper applicator instead of Becca's airless pump, too, so they'll likely go rancid before you can even finish a single bottle. And will you need all seven of these colors? No; depending on your skintone, some will be too light or too dark for you. I recommend that you pick up one full bottle of a shade that interests you or this much smaller variety pack instead.

Honestly, let me repeat that statement and apply it to pretty much every "mega vault" being sold right now: You will never finish all of it. If you already own a few lipsticks or blushes or highlighters or whatever, you likely won't even use it that often, because you'll have so much stuff. It will be a waste of hundreds of dollars. Save your hundreds of bucks. That goes double for sets like this Hourglass Confession Lipstick Vault, which costs a whopping $650. You do not need it.

Anti-Haul (aka, "What I'm Not Going To Buy"), Sixth Edition

I can't believe I'm already posting another anti-haul, but here we are, listing off products and ranting about why they aren't worth the money! In all fairness, I understand the appeal of each of the products I'm about to mention. I'm even waffling on one of them despite my better judgment. But at the end of the day, I can't, in good conscience, recommend that you buy these products, and I'm gonna tell you why.

As always, these posts are not meant to make you feel bad for liking a product or spending your money; I'm just trying to think carefully about my own consumerism and maybe encourage you to think carefully about yours. Once again, mad props to Kimberly Clark for popularizing and promoting the Anti-Haul movement!

1.Urban Decay Basquiat Collection, $17-39 each -- Oh, man. Okay. This is one of those rare instances where I could go off the deep end talking about freaking makeup. As it stands, I'll point you to several "Talk Me Out Of It" threads that popped up on Reddit's Makeup Rehab sub (1, 2, 3) and explain my feelings as professionally as possible. For starters, this collection goes against everything Basquiat stood for as an artist. A lot of his artwork protested rampant consumerism and capitalist greed, so slapping it on an eyeshadow palette feels outright disrespectful. Yeah, art makes for pretty makeup packaging...so why not work with a living artist who is not so anti-capitalism instead? Another prominent theme in Basquiat's art was black identity, yet Urban Decay used a white model (Ruby Rose) in their advertisements. Lastly, the names of the shades are so unfeeling, they actually left me gobsmacked. Just look at the eyeshadow palette in the header image for some examples. They not only used a piece of art with the words "PER CAPITA" written all over it, they also had the gall to make a shade called "Not For Sale." There's a shade called "Influence," and while some may argue that this refers to "artistic influences," we know Urban Decay loves drug culture names. Basquiat died from a heroin overdose. I could go on and on, but suffice to say that I think this entire collection was in poor taste and should not be purchased by anyone.

2. Murad Supplements, $50-57 each -- I understand that some people are way more in to supplementation that I am, and I get it. But I can't get behind designer supplements like this. I think part of the reason why the Murad supplements stuck out to so much is because, by coincidence, I'd been browsing the vitamin aisles at Target before I stumbled on these"beauty nutrient" bottles at Sephora. Hence, I immediately recognized that the Murad supplements aren't worth the inflated cost. Seriously, several lines of vitamins at Target were focused entirely on "beautifying ingredients" and were $15 a bottle or less, a fraction of Murad's prices. Bottles of glucosamine and hyaluronic acid pills marketed at joint pain sufferers are far cheaper than this Hydro-Glow Supplement. Honestly, even if you take a regular multi-vitamin, you'll be getting most of what the Youth Builder provides. Yes, the amounts are smaller, but I think the average person with a healthy diet will do just as well with 100% DV versus 200%. Don't believe me? Compare Murad's Youth Builder with One-a-Day Women's.

3. Glossier Invisible Shield Daily Sunscreen SPF35, $34 -- This is the product I'm still waffling on, despite the fact that Glossier was kind enough to send me the ingredients list almost 2 full weeks before the launch and I've had plenty of time to yell "NO!" in my head. The ingredient that immediately caught my eye was the orange essential oil, included to give the sunscreen a "pleasant scent." Now, citrus oil doesn't seem to automatically eat my face the way lavender oil usually does, but it can be sensitizing. Some people have also wondered whether this is a phototoxic oil that will impact the sunscreen's effectiveness. (Any chemists in the house who can weigh in?) Furthermore, I'm 95% sure I should skip this because they chose avobenzone as their sunscreen filter; this filter is notorious for being unstable and sensitizing. And while this product may have a lovely texture--the one thing that's still tempting me to try it, since I've had an awful time finding a face sunscreen that works for me--there's nothing about it that's particularly unique. I know the US is woefully behind other nations when it comes to sunscreen technology, but as some wiser people on skincare forums have pointed out, there are certainly newer, more stable filters they could've chosen. If you can tolerate alcohol denat and you still want great sun protection with a lightweight, serum-y texture, consider browsing the many offerings coming out of Japan and Korea; Ratzilla is a great source for reviews and ingredients lists.

4. Sephora Lash Stash to Go, $28 -- Some of my dissatisfaction with Sephora's Lash Stash series is entirely personal: I'm at the point where I've tried most of the mascaras they include. The only one I haven't tried in this current set, for instance, is the Bobbi Brown Eye Opening Mascara. However, there's a bigger issue, which is that the voucher they include for a free full-size tube of your favorite is a pain in the ass. This current Lash Stash, for example, says that you cannot use your voucher online or at a Sephora in JC Penny's; you have to go a full, free-standing to Sephora to use it. Other kits include vouchers that only work at SiJCP, which is what I have from a stash I bought last year. Why haven't I turned in my voucher and gotten a full tube, you may ask? Well, it turns out the mascara has to be in the store for them to redeem the voucher--they can't order it online for you. Because the only mascara I loved out of that Lash Stash was the Milk Makeup Ubame mascara, and none of my local Sephoras stock it, I'm left with a voucher I can't use. I recommend getting samples when they're available as 100 point perks or coupon code products instead.

Anti-Haul (aka, "What I'm Not Going To Buy"), Fifth Edition

Normally, I do an anti-haul post when I've found a few items that have tested my resolve, the stuff I almost purchased despite my better judgment and tiny budget. But this one is a bit different. The truth of the matter is that there are only a couple of things I want right now, and for a variety of reasons, I'm not struggling to hold off. Instead, I wanted to focus on some new releases that are getting plenty of hype, and I want to try and talk 90% of people out of dropping a paycheck on these luxuries. Because, you know, you probably don't need them.

As always, these posts are not meant to make you feel bad for liking a product or spending your money; I'm just trying to think carefully about my own consumerism and maybe encourage you to think carefully about yours. Once again, mad props to Kimberly Clark for popularizing and promoting the Anti-Haul movement!

1. Anastasia Beverly Hills Lip Palette, $48 -- Let me be clear: I do not think this product is silly, overpriced, or poorly conceived. I actually think it looks like a fantastic assortment of lip colors that will serve an artist well. But that's who this is going to serve: an artist, somebody who works primarily on runways or photoshoots and prefers a range of colors over portability. I'm a little baffled by the number of everyday people who want to purchase this palette. Yes, it's cool that you can mix a lot of different colors, but...are you going to mix your perfect shade on the daily? Or, if you find your perfect mix, would you be comfortable with storing it in a separate container and applying it with a lip brush every day? For that matter, would you be comfortable carrying a lip brush around for touch ups? (I know I bring up lip brushes a lot, but I really do think it's necessary--I've only ever known one person who willingly carried a lip brush around.) Also, you'll need a basic understanding of color theory to make the exact shade you want every time. Otherwise, you could end up with fifty shades of brown.

2. Glossier Priming Moisturizer Rich, $35 -- I was actually thrilled when I heard that Glossier was launching a heavier cream. Then it dropped, and the ingredients list sent me running. To be fair, I have a more reactive skin type, but even if I disregard that, this isn't exactly a sterling list. Glycerin, shea butter, squalane, caprylic triglyceride, and fatty alcohols are all lovely for dry skin that doesn't clog or break out easily, but they're also very common and cheap ingredients. Ceramides are at the bottom half of the list, below a number of silicones that will add slip and potentially make the cream seem more emollient than it really is. There are also a number of potential irritants in here; for instance, I know from experience that lavender oil both stinks and hates my skin. This could be a perfectly fine hydrating primer for tough skin in the normal range, but there are other products with similar hydrating ingredients sans irritants, like La Roche Posay Toleriane Riche, or that include less run-of-the-mill emollients on top of that, like Drunk Elephant Lala Retro Whipped Cream.

3. Drunk Elephant T.L.C Sukari Baby Facial, $80 -- Speaking of Drunk Elephant, here's another super-expensive product they've released, but for once, I can't get behind it. It's not that this is poorly formulated, though I do question if it's really worth that $80, especially when you compare it to Deciem's similar product in the Ordinary range that clocks in at $7.20. It's more that I question just how many people need a peel this strong that often. I understand that my skin can be touchy, and my every-other-week 10% AHA and every-other-night 2% BHA is negligible to some skincare aficionados. But 25% AHA once a week? That's a fucking ton of glycolic acid. (ETA: It's been pointed out to me that this product contains a mixture of acids, not just glycolic; I apologize for the mistake. Still, 25% AHA is potent!) The fact that they include a sample of their marula oil and recommend that you use it immediately after removing the peel should tell you just how much this product will sandblast your face. And while they do point out that you should only use it once a week (which is still a lot), there's no recommendation that people patch test. Guys, I have only known one person who used glycolic peels this strong regularly, and even then, she only did it once or twice a month to deal with acne scarring and hyper-pigmentation. I know it sounds sexy. I know the hype is real. But there is a good chance that you just don't need this.

4. Tom Ford Sheer Cheek Duo in Paradise Lust, $78 -- Okay, the pun in the name is really bad, that goes without saying. My real issue is that this is a lot of money to spend for very little product. Apparently, the pans aren't 0.15oz each, they're 0.15oz COMBINED. Tom Ford's individual cream blushes are larger and less expensive ($68 for 0.17oz). Even then, Tom Ford apparently sucks at providing a decent shade range. The blush in this duo will likely work for a fair range of skintones, but I get the feeling it'll be far too bright for fair skin, and that type of pinky highlighter is not universally flattering. I like the packaging, sure, and that's about it. For $78, I could get two or three amazing cream blushes or highlighters from another high-end brand, like Makeup Forever or Becca.

Special Edition Anti-Haul: Glossier Black Tie Set

This is going to be a bit of an unusual Anti-Haul post, because I'm not talking both of us out of a purchase--I already own the set. However, I have a stupid amount of Glossier store credit because people apparently keep clicking my affiliate link (thanks!), so I didn't have to pay out of pocket for my set. I'm assuming most of you don't have the same luxury. Also, I kind of knew this was an unnecessary purchase from the start, but I wanted to add my (admittedly critical) opinion in to the hype swell.

We initially got the hint that new products were coming via Instagram posts from company owner Emily, who mentioned that a new Haloscope shade, Moonstone, would be dropping in a few days. I love my Haloscope in Quartz, and my friend really enjoys the tube of Topaz he pilfered from me, so I was excited to hear about a new color. Proof that I was thrilled:

But then Glossier announced that this new product was actually part of a four-piece set, and you could not buy Moonstone separately. Bummer. $50 isn't bad for a set, but I dislike gloss, I have a drugstore pencil liner I enjoy, and I'm so lazy that I'm lucky if my nails get painted even once a year. Then I got amped again when the set was released and the product page referred to Moonstone as an "opalescent glaze." OPALESCENT?! I can forgive the emotional "ugh why a set" roller coaster for an opalescent highlighter! I nabbed the set as soon as I finished teaching on the release day.

The Glossier Black Tie Set comes with a clear gloss, the Moonstone highlighter, a pastel pink polish, and a soft charcoal eyeliner. It's all packaged in a pretty box with a satin ribbon. Glossier suggests making the ribbon part of your outfit, but I don't think I'd make a great ghost story heroine. There's a little booklet that comes with this set as well. I'm normally very scornful of the stupid posters Glossier sends with every order, but I can't deny that this booklet has some pretty photos in it; I'm addicted to pictures of people putting on their makeup, so a couple of the pages might make it on to my wall.

As pretty as the packaging is, you're hit by the off-putting scent of chemicals as soon as you open it. I think it's the smell of the glue used to hold the box together. None of the individual products smell, though, just the box.

Here I am wearing all four products from the set, along with:

• Beauty Blender-ed Koh Gen Do Aqua foundation in 012,
• NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer in Chantilly,
• YSL Creme de Blush in Babydoll,
• Too Faced Shadow Insurance,
• Wet n' Wild Brulee eyeshadow,
• Makeup Forever Excessive Lash mascara,
• and Colourpop Bangin' Brunette brow pencil.

 On the surface, it's a very soft and pretty look that's complimented by a feminine nail polish. But let's talk about how the kit actually functions.

We'll start with the lipgloss. It's thin and kind of sticky, but not overbearingly so, and it has a slight sweet scent. If you like a glassy finish, this will give it to you for a couple of hours. But it's just a clear lipgloss. If you wear gloss and you don't have a clear formula you already like, I'll be stunned.

Some people are upset about the eyeliner shade because it's not jet black, but I figured it'd be a softer color because they named it graphite. If you've heard of that stuff before, it's probably because you've used a number 2 pencil at some point: they're graphite, not lead. In the off-chance that you don't know what I'm talking about, here's what the mineral looks like:

 

Image yoinked from Wikipedia.

So there you have it! A slightly shiny, but not uber-dark, charcoal shade.

The pencil is retractable, which makes you feel like you're wasting less product since you don't have to sharpen it. However, it's kind of cheap: mine keeps slipping forward a bit in the tube, making me think the actual eyeliner is not firmly attached to the bottom of the tube. It's a very soft, smooth formula that glides on the lids easily without tugging, and it'll give you a smoky effect. It's pretty! But it doesn't have much staying power: it runs right off of your waterline and transfers from my lash line to my upper lid, even when I use a base under it. And again, is it worth splurging on for most people? No. You can get that same smudgy effect with your softest black pencil liner and a cotton bud. 

The nail polish is, again, serviceable but nothing special. It needs two coats for full opacity and can go on streaky if you aren't careful, which is the norm for pastel polishes. It has a pretty glossy finish and seems to be wearing well on me, with some moderate edge wear after 3 days.

The biggest disappointment, though, is the Moonstone Haloscope. Just so you can understand what a let-down this was, let's take a look at an actual opal:

Image taken from CrystalVaults.com.

Opals are some of the most beautiful stones you'll ever see. From a distance, they often look like a creamy white or jet black rock, but up close you can see flecks of varying colors. These colors shift as you turn the opal in the light. Right hand up to God, opals and pearls are the only two precious stones that make me wish I wore jewelry on the regular, they are that damn beautiful.

Moonstone isn't that complex. Actually, it isn't complex at all: it's a sheer, vaguely-silver color like so many cream highlighters before it. To make matters worse, it doesn't seem to be quite as fine as Quartz and Topaz; I notice more visible shimmer in this one. Also, I had to layer on far more than usual to get anything more than the oily shine from the base ingredients. (I actually like that oily shine because my skin is drier than a sandbox in summer, but at least Quartz gives me a bit of pigment to compliment it.)

Here are some swatches of the three makeup products. I know the Haloscope looks very pretty here, but to be clear, I had to layer on a shit ton of product to get it to show up that way, and even then, it's very basic. How many white highlighters are there on the market that look just like that? No, it's not terrible, but it's not as pretty as the permanent shades. And dammit, I was promised opalescent!

The gloss and the liner, meanwhile, are just a normal clear gloss and soft kohl liner. You'll probably use them--I know I'm going to do my best to go through them--but are they worth the splurge? No.

Here's the bottom line: this kit is not special and Glossier knows that. They included a new shade of one of their popular products and tossed in some private label extras with cute G logos stamped on them. They are aware that most of their consumer base is only interested in the highlighter, and they're willing to pay double for it if they can get a few more products wrapped up with a bow.

That sounds cruel, I know, but Glossier is a company, not your best friend. They're here to make money. And I don't think they're going to be too offended by little ol' me suggesting you take a pass on this set, either, since I've really enjoyed several of their other products and have written sterling reviews for them.

If you want to get the Black Tie Set as a gift, especially for somebody who doesn't have a decent makeup bag or collection to work from, that sounds great. If you honestly think you're going to use and enjoy the entire set, then I salute you. But my opinion remains: this is in no way, shape, or form a set that will wow most consumers, and it's never worth buying a kit just to get the one thing you really want. If all you really want is the Moonstone highlighter, check out any of the pearly white cream and liquid products saturating the market instead.

Anti-Haul (aka, "What I'm Not Going To Buy"), Third Edition

Fall is fast approaching, and with it are a slew of supposedly sweater-worthy product launches. I admit that all four of these products made it to my Sephora cart. I'm human! But when I did some research and thought about them for a few days, I realized they were a great big pile of "nope." And frankly, I don't think the average consumer will need them in the long run.

As always, these posts are not meant to make you feel bad for liking a product or spending your money; I'm just trying to think carefully about my own consumerism and maybe encourage you to think carefully about yours. Once again, mad props to Kimberly Clark for popularizing and promoting the Anti-Haul movement!

Oh, and I stole the Bite Beauty and Urban Decay pictures from Temptalia. Nobody does product photos like her, I swear.

1. Pat McGrath Labs Lust 004 Lipstick Kit, $60 -- Pat McGrath is here again, and I feel a little guilty about it because I admire her work as a makeup artist so much. But just like the highlighter kits, I'm smacking a giant "DO NOT WANT" label on these sequin-stuffed bags. Each kit has two lipsticks (0.05oz each), a gloss (0.46oz), and a pigment and a glitter (0.07oz each). Frankly, most people can find a clear gloss they like for $5 or less at the drugstore, so I'm not including the gloss in the value of this kit. That leaves us with 0.24oz or 6.8g of product for $60. Is it worth it? Not really. The lipsticks come in pretty but popular shades of nude and red. I'm going to guess that you probably already own a red and/or nude lipstick you love. Go ahead and check. I'll wait. Now, do you own a lip-safe pigment? If you own tons of makeup, it's likely; if you don't, you can do what drag queens and showgirls have done for ages and just pat a metallic powder eyeshadow on top of your lipstick. This leaves us with the glitter. Plenty of brands sell lip-safe glitters in far more colors at affordable prices; Lit Cosmetics comes to mind. Even if you would wear glittery lips every damn day of your life, you don't need to pay $60 to do it.

2. Urban Decay Junkie Vice Lipstick Palette, $35 -- Unlike most palettes, which use shade variety as an excuse to rip you off in terms of actual product purchased, this lipstick palette is an equal value: it contains 0.24oz of product for $35, and a full-size Vice lipstick is $17 for 0.11oz. But overall, the color range is not impressive. Don't you buy a lip palette for variety? So why are there two shades with intense white bases that likely won't work on deeper skintones (Safe Word and Vanity Kills)? 714, Firebird, and Wrath all have differences, but they're in the same reddish-fuschia family--why not replace one of those with a bright orange? Does Studded look flattering on anybody? And while I applaud anybody who marches to the beat of their own drum, the majority of consumers are not going to get much use of a saturated lavender like Vanity Kills or a sparkly forest green like Junkie. You'll also need to use a lip brush to apply these, which begs the question: are you willing to not only use a lip brush regularly to apply your product, but are you also willing to clean it constantly so you don't contaminate the colors? It's a perfectly nice palette, yes, but you're better off just buying two full-sized tubes of the shades that strike your fancy. PS: Why do they have a complete sentence on the packaging without any punctuation or capitalization?!

#EnglishTeacherProblems

3. Bite Beauty Multisticks, $24 -- Out of every product in this anti-haul, this is the one that's tempted me the most. Yet when I feel myself being sucked in by the fantastic shade range and my overall love for the Bite brand, logic reels me back in. First, this is a product that can be used on the lips, cheeks, and eyes. It sounds amazing, right? Well, think about it: how many cream-based or liquid lip, cheek, and eye products have worked for you on all three counts? I've tried many and have always found that they failed in one of the three areas. Based on reviews I've seen, most people don't care for these on the eyes, meaning they're primarily a lip and cheek stick. You know what else is a lip and cheek product? REGULAR LIPSTICKS! Seriously, if you have a decently creamy lipstick that you love and the ingredients won't eat your skin, you can dab a little on your cheeks and blend it out. I've done it off and on for years. If you don't believe me, take a look at the ingredients for this product. You'll see that it's similar to plenty of lipsticks and cream blushes that are already on the  market. Getting one or two shades might be a good idea for somebody who is just starting out and/or has a tiny collection, but for most of us, they're simply not necessary.

4. Hourglass Ambient Lighting Edit Surreal Light Palette, $80 -- Hourglass is so damn good at packaging, it's no wonder I wanted a pile o'powders even though I use creams and liquids almost exclusively. It's not worth it, though. For starters, this is not a palette that is going to flatter anybody who is darker than, say, NC30, and based on the swatches I've seen, that's me being generous. If you want to produce a palette that works well for a certain skintone range, fine, but why not produce more than one variation so everybody can enjoy your products? Furthermore, you're not getting anything particularly special for your money here. You're paying about $8.33 per gram of product, and while that's on par with the Hourglass Ambient Lighting Bronzers ($8.94 per gram) and Strobe Lighting Powders ($8.37 per gram), the Ambient Lighting Powders ($4.60 per gram) and Ambient Lighting Blushes ($4.55 per gram) are much better value. The Strobe Powders suck, in my opinion, because they're too sparkly for a finishing powder and too sheer for a highlight. These shades aren't especially unique, either. Yes, "Surreal ______" isn't available in a stand-alone pan, but the blushes are a "cool pink rose" and a "soft warm peach." They've already got similar shades that are just as pretty: Ethereal Glow and Dim Infusion, respectively. If you want to try the Hourglass Ambient line, I think you're better off getting a powder or blush from the permanent range.

Anti-Haul (aka, "What I'm Not Going to Buy"), Second Edition

I never thought I'd have enough products to do a brand new Anti-Haul before the summer was out, but somehow, I've managed to find quite a few things that are getting raved about. As always, these posts are not meant to make you feel bad for liking a product or spending your money; I'm just trying to think carefully about my own consumerism and maybe encourage you to think carefully about yours. Once again, mad props to Kimberly Clark for popularizing and promoting the Anti-Haul movement!

1. Jeffree Star Skin Frosts, $29 -- Let's just pretend that all of Jeffree Star's racism, misogyny, and bad behavior are not a factor in this "I'm not gonna buy it" decision. We'll focus on the product itself, which I can do because I borrowed a friend's Ice Cold Skin Frost for comparison. First, I hate this packaging. I get that uber-pink is Jeffree's thing, but these huge plastic compacts just look and feel like Barbie compacts with no heft. The look on the skin isn't my favorite, either, since there's some very obvious glitter that seems to flake all around your face throughout the day. If that's your thing, more power to you, but I like my shimmer to be decently refined and to stay where I put it. Lastly, how likely is it that you'll ever finish this powder?! It's 15 grams of product, which is equivalent to a standard powder foundation. You won't go through this or even hit pan unless you practically bathe in the stuff. Now, I might be okay with "a lot for your money" if this was something a person might buy as their only highlighter, or one of two.  But we know that's not the consumer base for Jeffree Star products--most of the people buying these Skin Frosts already have a few other highlighters.

2. Milk Makeup Sunshine Skin Tint, $42 -- I admit that I've been very critical of Milk and their gimmicks, but I've still given quite a few of their products the ol' college try. With that said, I'm getting pretty tired of the roller ball applicators. They're not very sanitary, and my experience with the Coverage Duo shows that they don't always work properly. The price is also too high for what you get: $42 for 0.7oz of product in a plastic rollerball tube. Really? Really? Most foundations and tinted moisturizers are a full ounce at that price range! As a final note, this is yet another Milk base product that appears to have a very pink-leaning shade range and a lot of oils in the ingredients, so fair warning to anybody who is neutral or yellow and/or sensitive to stuff like coconut and jojoba oil.

3. Overpriced Skin Mists Packed With Potential Irritants -- This particular "I'm not gonna buy it" moment is brought to you by my own skincare philosophies and the fact that I'm kind of cheap, so I totally understand if you disagree with me here. But really, what is with some of these face mists?! The Son and Park offering, for example, is mega-cheap for what you get (that bottle is HUGE), but the ingredients list is the stuff of my nightmares. And there's very little in the Tatcha Luminous Dewy Skin Mist to warrant the $48 price tag. My biggest disappointment, I think, is that so many supposedly hydrating mists are listing drying alcohols and added fragrance in their ingredients. I think I'll stick with my under-$20-a-bottle, short ingredient list, alcohol-free options.

4. Drunk Elephant Lala Retro Whipped Cream, $60 -- I'm totally going to buy this product, actually, but a few things are going to have to happen. Number one, I'm going to have to work up the courage to spend $60 on a skincare product that will likely need repurchased 3 or 4 times a year. $240 a year for moisturizer would be numbing unless the shit makes an angel choir sing on the dewiest, most plump and healthy skin I've ever had. Number two, Drunk Elephant needs to update the packaging. Yes, I  know, my current moisturizer is in a jar, but it's cheap as shit (I never pay more than $5 a tub) and doesn't really contain any "special" ingredients. Drunk Elephant has done such a good job formulating and packaging their other products that the jar packaging for this one is a bit of a disappointment. They're supposedly re-releasing this product with more hygienic packaging, and I won't be dropping $60 until that happens.

5. Sweat Cosmetics -- Okay, so I don't really wear powder and I dislike loose/mineral makeup. This line was doomed from the start. But what really gets me here is this awful brand name. Sweat?! How is that a cool or attractive name for beauty products?! I get that this is a range designed to appeal to athletes, but there are so many more interesting aspects to athleticism that could have inspired this besides sweating. What about vigor, strenuosity, fleet, endurance? What about mythological characters and historical occurrences that are closely tied to athleticism, like Hermes and the Olympics, or modern female athletes like Serena Williams and Tianna Bartoletta? Cripes, even a silly name like "Discus" sounds better than "Sweat."

What do you think--do you agree or disagree with me? What are some products you're not going to buy?

Anti-Haul (aka, "What I'm Not Going to Buy"), First Edition

I have often tilted my head at the products that get hyped up on the internet, that sell out within thirty minutes and generate so much traffic that the website crashes dozens of times in a single day. But I've always had a hard time expressing my confusion over this hype without feeling like an uber-bitch.

Enter drag queen YouTuber Kimberly Clark, who has quickly gained popularity for her Anti-Haul videos. A traditional haul video involves a YouTuber showing off their recent purchases, probably swatching them and almost certainly squealing over how excited they are to try them. (No judgment, by the way; I have absolutely done Hauls before.) By contrast, Kimberly Clark's Anti-Haul videos revolve around her examining different products with a critical eye and explaining why she won't be spending her hard-earned coins.

Please note that videos and blog posts like these are not meant to shame you for spending your money on certain products. They're simply meant to evaluate our consumerist culture and encourage you to think carefully about how you spend your money. Also, they explain why I won't be buying certain things, even if they are really cool or all the rage.

FYI, I originally intended to go to the mall, find some of these products, and take pictures of myself holding some of these items while pulling truly beautiful faces. I ended up getting a head cold and not doing that, but let me know if that was a bad idea from the get-go.

1. Beauty Blender Surface Simple, $30 -- Let's be clear about what you're buying here: it's a plastic palette with a metal spatula. That's it. For $30. Oh, and it has the Beauty Blender name on it! Isn't that great?! ...yeah, no, this is ludicrous. If you're a makeup artist who needs a palette for product mixing, you can easily get one at an art supply store for a fraction of the price; here's one for about $14. If you really want a set designed specifically for beauty, this Morphe duo has both a palette (this one made from stainless steel!) and a spatula for $13. I get that a name can sell, but $30 for a plastic sheet with a spatula and some Beauty Blender text on it? Please. (PS: If you're not a makeup artist, you probably don't need this thing at all--just use the back of your hand.)

2. Hourglass Illume Sheer Color Trio, $62 -- Normally, Hourglass making cream blushes and highlighters would make my little heart beat faster. But after that initial "OH MY GOD IT'S BEAUTIFUL" moment, I had to stop and check myself. Yes, this is actually a decently priced product, since you get 0.21oz of blush and bronzer (bigger than many standard-sized cream products) and 0.17oz of highlighter (the same amount as a pot of RMS Living Luminizer). However, I don't wear bronzer. I mean, I saw this thing and thought to myself, "Well, I could just use the bronzer as eyeshadow." No, I won't, I know that's not going to happen. So right there we've nixed a third of the product. Furthermore, the highlighter looks like it has a distinct golden hue, which always ends up looking meh on me. In the end, $62 would net me a very nice cream blush, an unusable bronzer, and a just-okay highlighter in a pretty compact. Nooooo.

3. MAC Vibe Tribe Collection -- MAC has made so many missteps with their recent collections, you'd think they'd re-evaluate how they come up with and design their products. Nope, didn't happen here! MAC claims that this collection was not inspired by Native American culture, but rather, by music festivals and the desert. Okay, so let's ignore the fact that the collection is called Vibe Tribe and you even have a product named Arrowhead: do you really expect us to believe that when the packaging is covered in faux Navajo prints? Furthermore, even if that were the case, music festivals like Coachella have become a breeding ground for half-assed cultural appropriation. (The headbands and the feathers-in-the-hair and the "warpaint" and uuuuugh.) Acting like we don't know this stuff is almost more insulting than creating the collection in the first place. Just fess up, MAC, and next time, consider hiring one of our great Native American artists or designers to collaborate with...I'd respect that so much more. On the bright side, it gave us this hilarious video.

4. Pat McGrath Skin Fetish, $72 -- I'll fess up: I've looked at tons of reviews for this product and have had a hard time tamping down my lust for it. But there are two issues here that prevent me buying this much-hyped highlighting set from the renowned makeup artist's line. First, that packaging: you have to open a bag full of sequins to get to the products. Yes, I get it, it's different and kind of fun, but what a goddamn mess. What a waste of space and product. You know damn well most people aren't going to do anything with those sequins once they open the bag. Second, how much of this set am I really going to use? I don't need another brush, and as pretty as the powder highlighter is, I know myself: I don't use powder highlights anymore. What really draws me to this is that dual-ended "balm" and cream highlight, which is not worth $72. If Pat McGrath would break this set up and sell the products individually, I totally admit that I'd jump right on that bandwagon.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree or disagree with me? What are some products you're not going to buy?