REVIEW: Glossier Cloud Paint

I've snarked a lot about Glossier on this blog. I think their skincare is overpriced and overhyped with the obvious exception of the Milky Jelly Cleanser and, to some extent, their lip balm. I enjoy a lot of their makeup, but I also know the ingredients lists and sheer, fleeting formulas make them a hard pass for many. But somehow, I always get suckered in to their new product releases. Their marketing campaigns are clearly aimed at lazy, Instagram-obsessed mother fuckers like me, sure...but it's also the fact that I really like some of that makeup! I wear the Perfecting Skin Tint and Haloscope on the regular, and the Generation G lipsticks are my go-to lazy day lip colors. A tube of flavored Balm Dot Com lives in my work bag. Still, I apparently have unreasonably high expectations and a low tolerance for "all of our models are size 2 perfect skinned teenagers who never wear foundation because they use our amaaaaaaazing skincare!" marketing, so I crank and complain.

Then Glossier announced that they were releasing a liquid blush, and I was pretty excited. I tried to hide my glee beneath that veil of snark ("Are you fucking serious with boysturizer?!"), but I'm 99% sure I wasn't sneaky enough.

I'm not excited, I had a cramp.

Glossier's Cloud Paints cost $18 for each 0.33oz tube, though they're currently running a two-for-$30 promotion. The range includes 4 colors: Beam (peach), Puff (pink), Haze (raspberry), and Dusk (beige). Because I'm brown blush intolerant, I went with the first three shades.

The packaging is paint tube inspired, which is nothing new, as several others have pointed out. I'm not entirely sure I'd call it a blatant rip-off of K-beauty products, though; that packaging style has been around for a while. Remember MAC Paints in their heyday, when they came in a dozen different colors? (If you don't remember, I'm showing my age and you can ignore me.) It's cute, it's portable, and it works decently, although I will note that my tube of Beam blew up a bit when I first removed the safety seal:

I haven't had any more mishaps since, but this type of packaging is definitely prone to bubbling and bursting in my experience. Just a heads up!

Now, I figured I'd love these, because I'm a sucker for liquid blushes and they looked mad pretty on their models. But a few things made me go "eh?" before they even reached my doorstep. First, I have to do my usual thang and complain about the shade range: the only shade that really seems to show up well on their darker skinned model is Haze. The current color selection is geared toward light to medium skintones. A comment from the company on their own Instagram actually confirmed this: the only shade they suggest for those who wear the deepest Perfecting Skin Tint, Rich, is Haze.

Guys. If you're going to drop a new product, the least you could do is try to have more than one shade that works for your clientele with dark skin. You came out with a deeper highlighter shade and released darker Perfecting Skin Tint shades when people complained; clearly, you know this is A Thing.

Still, I did and do assume that they'll update the range. No problem, right? Except then they launched the Cloud Paints, and as per usual, the product page was a bit much:

The pillowy, gel-cream formula is designed to be the most user-friendly cheek color in existence...One-of-a-kind, lightweight gel-cream texture makes for silky, even application.

I said it when they launched the Generation G lipsticks and I'll say it again: these are not revolutionary, no matter what Glossier says. And I know I rag on them a lot for doing the "OMG SOOOOO NEEEEW!" squee game that most companies do, but I feel like they just go so hard with that line. Then again, I have to repeat that I'm weirdly snarky about this company for somebody who likes a good 50% of what they produce, so take my griping with a grain of salt.

I mean, really take it with a grain of salt, because I think these are pretty damn nice overall. The ingredients list is loaded with silicones, which explains why these have such a thin, soft texture and are so easy to blend. I was able to get a seamless, flushed look in less than a minute. And because they are so sheer, it's tough to overdo them or to get harsh lines. Granted, I'm used to applying cream and liquid blushes with my fingers, but I actually think even a liquid blush newb would have zero issues with these. Just dot the product where you want it, then tap it out gently with your finger--easy. (You can certainly apply this with something like a flat foundation brush, but really, it's easier just to use your fingers.) Cloud Paints certainly fit Glossier's "effortless, natural beauty" style. The formula is scentless, dries down completely, builds easily, and is just plain delightful for me.

The one exception to this is Haze. I found its formula a bit thinner and more watery than the other two shades, and I had to work a bit more to get a smooth application. I think you can actually see the texture difference between Haze and the other two shades in the above swatches. It wasn't terrible, and I think having to be very light-handed because the color was so bold factored in to it. Still, it's worth noting that you might get a slightly different experience depending on the colors you use.

From left to right: Puff, Beam, Haze.

Here they are on my actual face. Again, I think you can see that Puff and Beam applied a bit more smoothly for me, but the look of all three is generally consistent. It's natural, soft, and very pretty. Puff might be my favorite, which is sad, because I need another favorite powdery pink blush like I need a hole in the head.

Now, I don't usually talk about staying power when it comes to blushes, because that's not often a problem for me. As a dry-skinned person, color products tend to stick to my face like glue. But I want to note that I didn't have any problems with these fading throughout an 8 hour day. That's impressive, given how lightweight they are, and the fact that they're...well, Glossier. The company isn't exactly known for creating long-wearing makeup. It's not their gig. But these get a star from me for wear.

Overall, I think these are a solid addition to the Glossier lineup. Actually, they're more than solid: it's their best, most user-friendly makeup product yet. Update that shade range and be aware of formula inconsistencies, and you folks could easily have a five star product.

In the meantime, take my veil of snark, Glossier. I think it's time I said goodbye to it and embraced the rather good makeup you're producing...at least for now.

I've already included two gifs portraying Sassy Long-Dead White Guys in Wigs...might as well go for broke.

RATING: 4 out of 5.

These products were purchased from Glossier.com using store credit earned through referrals. Affiliate link: Glossier.